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    Jun. 30, 2008
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Super Secret Server in case anybody checks this:

It's depressing just to look at this dilapidated husk of a website. Consider yourself warned...whoever you are, you fantasized future being who's actually reading this message, perhaps in a post-pandemic, post-self-destruct-insurance-loophole-sequence Utopia, possibly when the site has been resuscitated by new owners who have a clue how to run it and re-population efforts have gone underway. One can only wonder at what Promised Lands the generations of Internet users to follow may behold where we cannot.

[New Feature!...In Beta] Chat Log of the Day/Week/TBD/CBF
[Final(?) Death of the Internet Special Update!]
MrBoss: It's been a great twenty-something year run, thanks Al Gore.
sopimusicianTWO: Surely we still have good old pornography to fall back on.
MrBoss: Pretty lousy years from what I remember, but still.
VoiZod: wow wat is this da Mod convention today? lol
MrBoss: Pall-bearers, really.
MrBoss: It'd be nice if someone else would say some words.
Rachiface: ooo
sopimusicianTWO: some words
MrBoss: Yes, pay respects.
Rachiface: Here lies Kongregate. It was aiite.
TheSmartyGam3r: some words
Zshadow: mawiage... sweet mawiage
VoiZod: some words
MrBoss: You ungrateful ************
Rigor_Mortis: so many mods
Rigor_Mortis: all doing nothing
Winteren: Mute me harder daddy mods
MrBoss: It's not as if they have anything to do.
MrBoss: Give the soon-to-be-ex-mods a break.
Rigor_Mortis: i'd mute you so hard
MrBoss: I must have some insanely bad timing, coming back here for the last six months or so.
MrBoss: If that's what you mean.
Zshadow: i came back yesterday randomly and found out they were closing down
Zshadow: my senses were tingling
CaesarZeppeli227: Honestly I don't know how Discord works
CaesarZeppeli227: I feel like a boomer
Zshadow: it's just a chatroom
MrBoss: For added irony, I'll admit today is my actual birthday.
CaesarZeppeli227: Happy Birthday Boss!
TheSmartyGam3r: happy birthday
TheSmartyGam3r: also THE IRONY LOL
MrBoss: By the way, Kong can't shut.
MrBoss: They gave me blocks.
CaesarZeppeli227: I feel like the universe wants me to get Discord.
MrBoss: That I cannot spend.
MrBoss: Were stickers really meant to be the last hurrah and savior of the Internet?
MrBoss: Last vestige of corporate sanity.
MrBoss: Obviously this is really happening because Kong has not been a bastion in support of free speech in recent years.
sopimusicianTWO: voi what's your favorite youtube channel?
MrBoss: sopi, be more depressed.
MrBoss: Christ, man, show some respect.
MrBoss: At least outrage.
sopimusicianTWO: I'm hungry.
inonimus: my favorite person on youtube is somebody called thebestdreamIhad. He posts shit loads of 70's prog rock.
sopimusicianTWO: Feed me and we'll see if I can't muster up some depression.
MrBoss: I've been getting ripping pissed when I'm hungry lately, no joke.
MrBoss: Scare myself a bit.
inonimus: I've found some great shit from that guy
sopimusicianTWO: hangry, or hangraged?
MrBoss: Contemplating murders in calculated detail hungry.
sopimusicianTWO: hmm.
VoiZod: da cabals USA Propaganda Machine that feeds the fake news (out of context lies mixed with propaganda) FACTS
sopimusicianTWO: And it completely solves once you've eaten?
MrBoss: Only if I eat kind of a lot.
VoiZod: is Disney
MrBoss: Are we suggesting I could be a cannibal in the making?
MrBoss: Just put that together myself.
sopimusicianTWO: Your words, not mine.
MrBoss: You're practically my therapist at this point.
sopimusicianTWO: **** I want chipotle now.
inonimus: we're all potential cannibals
sopimusicianTWO: I caught my roommate eating it yesterday
MrBoss: Body disposal was the main flaw in my plans.
sopimusicianTWO: Or I could drive like 20 minutes for real mexican food
MrBoss: Cannibalism kind of takes care of that.
sopimusicianTWO: surely you can't eat ALL the bones
MrBoss: You definitely suggested Chipotle was people, OK.
CaesarZeppeli227: Welp I just posted a awful image to reddit
inonimus: boil them until they're goop
MrBoss: Don't put that on me.
MrBoss: Oh wait, I'm bleeding now.
GoldenLamp: Do you guys have popcorn chicken
GoldenLamp: In KFC
CaesarZeppeli227: Nope
GoldenLamp: Oh ok
GoldenLamp: Its basically a bucket of chicken balls the size of popcorn
VoiZod: any A&W's left
I0hate0arbys: they skimp hard on the chicken
MrBoss: I can't help but feel I'm taking this whole Death of the Internet bidness way harder than you all.
GoldenLamp: I also love eating the Mighty Bucket for One
solomonups194: i lowkey misread that and thought you said "they simp hard on the chicken"
VoiZod: oh those are goos
VoiZod: good popcorn chicken
VoiZod: get'em honey bbq
VoiZod: and fire hot
I0hate0arbys: nah boss im really bummed tbh i have no idea what im gonna do. especially when im up at 3am now ill truly be fully alone
VoiZod: naa
sopimusicianTWO: tbh i think it'll be healthy for me
CaesarZeppeli227: Well I think I'm gonna head out so see ya!
[On Film...]
MrBoss: So, movie theaters...
MrBoss: They can re-open because Christopher Nolan's new movie takes priority over peoples' lives as long as people wear masks which are required after all but only if you're not eating or drinking, only then are you allowed to be slightly less uncomfortable
MrBoss: I was planning for that to go on longer but then I hit the character limit, so forget it.
pinkskittle: luckily i live in the middle of nowhere
pinkskittle: being alive isn't so scary right now
orbajo: what would the movie be called Boss
MrBoss: Hey, don't make me advertise it any more than strictly necessary.
pinkskittle: lol
orbajo: we will call it TBD in the all caps tradition
VoiZod: wow I have been here a long time and I only get 520 blocks? BORK! and my friend emails Kong about not getting their blocks on a game and now has 10370 blocks WtH anyway there are no stickers to buy wit blocks anymore and Who Knows If or
VoiZod: When there will ever be anymore.
MrBoss: I mean, if he were Kubrick, maybe I would understand...
MrBoss: But worth dying over INTERSTELLAR or DUNKIRK? Hell no.
MrBoss: MEMENTO, maybe...INCEPTION, probably not.
MrBoss: Pixar casting that little girl I met once in TOY STORY 4 was the last straw.
CaesarZeppeli227: My favorite Pixar movie is still Toy Story
MrBoss: I watched all three of those movies and what do I get?
MrBoss: Not cast as a little girl in the fourth one!
Serqey1: I wake up everyday trying be a Keanu
Serqey1: but people start talking and it is back to me
CaesarZeppeli227: I wake up everyday slowly dying
MrBoss: You'd all feel better if you watched KNOCK KNOCK.
MaceTheFace420: there is only one true kevin bacon movie
MaceTheFace420: Tremors
catgravy: rofl
MrBoss: Oh, you already answered.
MaceTheFace420: was he in FT13th?
CaesarZeppeli227: Wait is kevin bacon the guy from paul blaurt mall cop
catgravy: Forgot about F13
MrBoss: First movie role, I think.
catgravy: Yup
MrBoss: Incidentally, Denzel and Goldblum's first movie was DEATHWISH...
MaceTheFace420: kevin bacon is the guy from footloose
MrBoss: Since I have that information off-hand.
Serqey1: isn`t that a Depp movie the f13
CaesarZeppeli227: ANOES is a pretty good movie
Serqey1: right
MrBoss: "Got yer nose, bitch!"
MrBoss: I swear he said that in one of those.
MrBoss: VS JASON, actually.
CaesarZeppeli227: ANOES "Got yer nose" hmmm
MrBoss: I'm so glad I watched all of those so I could impart such crucial information.
MrBoss: It's all been worthwhile.
MrBoss: One guy saying homelessness builds character. Others presumably saying not.
[The state of music today...]
Crimmers: spoon is doing accapella now?
MrBoss: Acoprophilia
MrBoss: That's singing while you eat shit if anyone isn't in the know.
MrBoss: In other words, pop music.
Serqey1: tbh if the guidelines agree with the bible we dont need to read them, and if they disagree with it we need to ignore them
joebob23: roasted
StandinOvulation: if miranda is male i would be hella upset i put her....it in friend zone when we could be playing conkers with our tree nuts
Miranda719: i will be in a couple minutes when these are ready to be mailed out
boom4231: but serg, DO you read the bible?
MrBoss: I agree with Sergey in everything but principle.
boom4231: can you recite to me the entire bible, james king edition, word for word?
Miranda719: YOU put ME in the friendzone?
Miranda719: but we arent even friends
MrBoss: James...King...?
JUN 19 - 8:59PM
MrBoss: The [fuck] kind of Christian rock is this?
[Modern Literature...]
MrBoss: Manga vs. Anime vs. Freud
boom4231: i cant even name the DC or marvel roster, im not gonna start reading comic books or manga
CaesarZeppeli227: IMO anime has a cuter artstyle then adult animation over here
Crimmers: maybe like deja thoris is kinda sexy
MrBoss: Swamp Thing, The Sandman...Watchmen.
MrBoss: That covers DC.
MrBoss: What are you reading currently, Caesar?
CaesarZeppeli227: Person oh yes
[And Gaming...]
MrBoss: "Here's a toxic bog that you can't see your way around, only get poisoned constantly, oh, but you're also surrounded by literal trolls that come out of the fog and smack you while you can't move properly on account of being in a bog."
joebob23: everyone flipped out because they assumed the buff woman is trans
flapjack2704: torah, [bippity] sex, you name it (((It's))) there
sporkofslack: https://imgur.com/a/m33qw8w
Crimmers: like, a dude dressed like a chick
MrBoss: Whoa, no spoilers.
MrBoss: Christ, joe.
JUN 19 - 6:00PM
DoritoPacket: the game looks good
DoritoPacket: ooooh
StandinOvulation: oh screw the trans they is dudes
joebob23: you see her in like the first 20 mins of the game boss
MrBoss: I wish to know nothing of said trans or non-trans TLOU properties.
flapjack2704: Did I hear correctly that the new game director was jewish?
Miranda719: but here's the thing, does them saying they're a lady affect you
joebob23: well i didn't mention the actual spoilery stuff just that people were upset about it being a buff woman so they called her trans
StandinOvulation: grrrrrrrrrrrr just kidding
MrBoss: He remained Jewish, I believe.
MrBoss: There’s no non-spoilery way to check if spoilers are fake. I bet I’m the first to realize this.
MrBoss: It’s a spoiler paradox.
MrBoss: Spoiler-Catch-22?
someperson1505: Speaking of spoilers
someperson1505: What do y'all think of tlou2
CaesarZeppeli227: I've never played The last of us
MrBoss: I'm on a mute without warning policy re: TLoU2
MrBoss: Final warning.
Crimmers: no one played last of us 2
MightyTinCan: ..But that was a warning
Crimmers: its just a fake media thing
someperson1505: You don't play as the giraffe in tlou2
MrBoss: One guy didn't get a warning.
someperson1505: That really ruined the game for me
MrBoss: I'm still holding out for a giraffe skin for Ellie.
someperson1505: 0/10, didn't get to live out my dreams of being a giraffe in Seattle
MrBoss: Giraffe jumpsuit.
CaesarZeppeli227: I keep thinking that The Last of Us is Life is Strange and vice versa
[A message misremembered...]
FireFop: Tell him I said. "boom, the only thing we have in common is that I'm a dick and you suck."
hildalgo172: wow.. it took you 12 hours to come up with that?
MrBoss: How about, "boom, the only use I have for you is that you're a dick and I suck" instead?
[A warning unheeded...]
Dravon: biden cant read from a prompter and the dems have nothing to add.
sgtpepper1125: add that to your profile
Dravon: black woman vp .
MrBoss: Decent amount to subtract.
Dravon: not qualified just her race.
MrBoss: White nationalism, cages, disease, bans, probably forgetting a thing or two...
Dravon: Free for all lawlessness and old people scared in thier own homes . you want that?
MrBoss: It's like you missed who Presided over all the looting and virus.
Dravon: you think you can charge to protect me/
Dravon: I'll kill you.
sipid: wtf?
sgtpepper1125: he'll get the chair
xxR00ZTERxx: some looters looted a gamestop and took the game cases from the shelf. but they couldn't get the games because those are locked up. lol.
MrBoss: Not sure but taking big strides to convince me that Trumpees are sane.
Dravon: all of you stuipid shits just try it
Dravon: take my house.
sgtpepper1125: its my house now
Dravon: Your head is gone.
MrBoss: I'll have it if I'm in sgt's will.
sgtpepper1125: but i was wearing a maga hat
Dravon: sorry for your family
MrBoss: Not anymore.
sipid: lads
MrBoss: MAGA hat no more.
sipid: all of you
sipid: stfu.
Dravon: In my house looting you are dead
MrBoss: You don't have the right to demand that, frankly.
Dravon: Thats my Right.
MrBoss: Rights of Your Own Ass
sgtpepper1125: all i wanted was a pepsi
sipid: ...
Dravon: we are comming out to suberbs you seen that right?
MrBoss: Did you or did you not leave me Dravon's house in your will?
Dravon: Dead looters of all race
MrBoss: What happened to good people on both sides?
Dravon: stop it hero.
sgtpepper1125: my will states that dravons house will be distributed brick by brick in a madcap scavenger hunt
MrBoss: Oh, right, only applies to white nationalists.
MrBoss: Silly of me to misremember.
Dravon: not at all its about my house.
sgtpepper1125: in the middle of the street
Dravon: I'll kill you.
MrBoss: How many uh cat burglars have you killed so far?
Dravon: I'll beat you to the ground and taz you just to mace you .
MrBoss: As long as no taxation.
Dravon: but you will not hurt my children
MrBoss: This is very kinky.
sgtpepper1125: just dont hit me with a stone cold stunner
Dravon: [buzz off] go home aggravators.
froggychair: r u guys being kinky without me
froggychair: wtf
Dravon: Come around my house covidly.
MrBoss: Mostly rampant and preposterous death threats, not to worry.
sgtpepper1125: home invasions arent as sexy irl
sporkofslack: they are if your prepared for them
froggychair: guys can u b honest with me
sgtpepper1125: who stockpiles that much lube
Dravon: just stay away its that simple for you.
froggychair: shoudl i buy this dress
MrBoss: Yes, froggy, what did you find the sexiest home invasion movie?
MrBoss: Oh, wrong topic.
froggychair: sksksksk
MrBoss: I'm never in favor of buying anything, really.
MrBoss: Only taking Dravon's house for free, allegedly.
Dravon: You want to fight fine head shots
sgtpepper1125: in large?
sgtpepper1125: how did u know my size?
MrBoss: Decent dress for Alice in Wonderland cosplay purposes.
MrBoss: Wide variety of functions.
froggychair: its a lolita dress boss
MrBoss: I don't remember it from the movie.
Dravon: Id never harm the kids but if dad wnts it I'll head shot him. from 500 yards
MrBoss: Pre-faking the moonlanding Kubrick movie, that is.
Dravon: 5 football fields easy.
MrBoss: Oh, I wouldn't buy it if it's going to turn you tsundere on first wear.
sporkofslack: specific head shots are too risky, put 2 center mass, and then follow up with a Mozambique
MrBoss: Only second or third time for me.
froggychair: im alrdy tsundere wym
MrBoss: [insert some other Japanese trope I don't know]
sgtpepper1125: ur yard is that big dravon?
MaceTheFace420: you arent tsundere
MrBoss: I'm more concerned about Dravon fitting the trope for one of those kidnapped basement wives.
[And on content so heinous it defies classification and clearly pushes the character count to its natural limit...]
mk_u1tra: condolences to my friend
mk_u1tra: he got involved with a religious woman
joebob23: eh if that's what he's into nothing bad about that
mk_u1tra: indeed
mk_u1tra: he ain't getting no sex
MrBoss: I heard a rumor they're allowed dry-humps.
joebob23: solely over the clothes stuff
mk_u1tra: double negative I know thats how we speak here
chairryfrog: idk how these ppl do it
joebob23: god's cool wit that he just forbids penetration
MrBoss: I don't know if the Spirit was in them at the time.
MrBoss: Threesome.
chairryfrog: goodness
MrBoss: Holy threesome?
sgtpepper1125: thats fair, if they dont get married god could end up getting dislodged
orbajo: Hey wait a minute, Boss is a mod right? Why doesn't he have an M by his name
MrBoss: Orb, don't blow my multiple cover stories.
orbajo: he can't be lying
MrBoss: One for every occasion.
orbajo: it must be a glitch
Miranda719: I've been talking to a MOD all this time?
orbajo: no one would go on the internet and tell lies
Miranda719: are you wearing a wire?
joebob23: get out there boss, abort!
MrBoss: I have to be oversexed to maintain my mod cover.
sporkofslack: onlything mod about him is his modified sexual preferences for melons
joebob23: this is why boss refused to vc
joebob23: he didn't want to be made
MrBoss: It's the Mod Voice, joe.
MrBoss: Always gives us away.
boom4231: ok I got the conduct guidelines to work
Miranda719: "We’re all gamers here so nobody’s going to ban you for life for something like, “Damn, I suck at this game” or even, “I like boobs."
MrBoss: Gruff Keanu by way of Tilda Swinton.
MrBoss: I have pictures where I'm covered in mud/stinky green sludge.
MrBoss: I forget who was asking.
MrBoss: I'll just assume Labor.
Miranda719: I'm asking
StandinOvulation: really if she doesnt send me pic im gonna be upset
MrBoss: They were part of my "Woke Up This Way" line. I was fresh out of the lagoon.
LaborPains: whoa whoa whoa I don't like the ACCUSATIONS
LaborPains: these IMPLICATIONS
LaborPains: yeah it was me
boom4231: also, how do we know someone is impersonating another?
boom4231: would a froggychoir count as impersonating?
boom4231: how about froggybench?
boom4231: or a soggybench?
Miranda719: yknow monologues can be internal
boom4231: we need to draw the line somewhere, and if we cannot draw a line, then we cannot decide.
MrBoss: God dammit, Miranda, I had hardly started ranting and already you call me out for ranting when in fact I'm only doing my thing and people never mind their own business and-
MrBoss: Oh, you meant the other guy.
hildalgo172: if you relate to it, you're high on neuroticism
hildalgo172: if you don't, then you're not
MrBoss: 5 out of 5
boom4231: well everyone experiences those emotions
joebob23: one imagines many in here would be at least somewhat neurotic
MrBoss: I didn't have to look.
froggychair: boss ur a fun character and im sorry i thought i didnt like me
MrBoss: I get what you mean and thank you kindly.
FireFop: make up is just an excuse to trick young women into spending money on crap they don't need
sgtpepper1125: its ok i can fill in for boss
sgtpepper1125: whats your best tasting eye liner?
joebob23: boss gives off that stoic indifferent vibe
froggychair: hmmmm i havent tried many eyelinrs tbh
froggychair: BUT
joebob23: but then u peel a few layers away and he's not so bad
boom4231: literally everyone that lurks give off that vice
froggychair: one sec i kno one tht seems good
boom4231: what are you trying to pull here
OracleElizabeth: idk about best tasting but i found nail polish that after it dries smells like fruit. i am down for that.
FireFop: so whoever said pizza hut was still crap was right.
sgtpepper1125: diced finely hes almost palatable
FireFop: heh. my evils step mother met a family of opossums once.
froggychair: awwww
froggychair: cuuuute
FireFop: No, it was horrible.
MrBoss: Hold on, frog. She probably poisoned the whole batch.
MrBoss: Emphasis on "evil."
MrBoss: And "step-mother."
FireFop: She was driving a big chevy, and they went THUMP, thump thump thump thump.
MrBoss: See, that wasn't cute at all.
FireFop: Told you it was horrific.
MrBoss: What the actual ***** *****
MrBoss: frog was censored.
froggychair: ;~;
froggychair: i didnt knoooooooooooooo
FireFop: I got to clean possum guys off the undercarrage
MrBoss: We have only you to blame for this tragedy.
MrBoss: Did she swerve into them?
FireFop: No she's just stupid, and unobservant
MrBoss: So only 5/10 evil.
joebob23: tfw u describe accidentally running over animals as "met"
MrBoss: I appreciated the innuendo.
joebob23: **** man i hit a dog once
MrBoss: Did you...meet him with a tasty treat?
FireFop: I don't have dogs anymore, all 3 of mine got run over as a kid.
joebob23: rough sorry to hear that
FireFop: My mother was an even worse driver than my stepmom
MrBoss: I'm glad you said it.
Serqey1: "mom , you drove over the dog, AGAIN "
joebob23: dogs do this shit where they like to run in front of the car as it pulls up i don't know why
FireFop: they're excited to say hello
boom4231: dogs arent smart.
MrBoss: Neither are moms, evidently.
RitsuKamiya: wtf can a dog talk
benson4u: yeah
MrBoss: Only yours, Rits.
MrBoss: It's part of the whole Berkowitz mood.
CaesarZeppeli227: Real quick, this is suppose to be Jack the Ripper - https://imgur.com/03P8h2T
MrBoss: That was so, um, spooky, now I have to wash up and go to bed.
tetewds: why would anyone bother writing emails to beg for some silly, worthless badge is beyond me
tetewds: you didnt get it, boo hoo
MrBoss: I checked and you're level 69.
MrBoss: You have no right.
tetewds: damn right i'm 69
tetewds: but i never begged support for any of my badges
MrBoss: So hours grinding impossible badges, weeks spent on RPGs, and...sending an email is the limit.
MrBoss: Got it.
Greyfox13: Well to be fair, that one is a social interaction. Spoooky
boom4231: professors should make reading quizzes and expel any student who fails them
boom4231: the government should fund a reading campaign
TwiceExceptional: professors should teach facts without the liberal spin
MrBoss: Did you read the email? No? Expelled, bitch!
boom4231: anything to get people to read
boom4231: i bet these are the same people that say "just click through the intro modules"
MightyTinCan: Gotta remove the liberal spin from them facts
CaesarZeppeli227: Hey guys!
MrBoss: Hi, Cae, was thinking about you.
CaesarZeppeli227: I don't know if I want to say "awww" or "weird"
MrBoss: Mostly I decided if I call you Cae I don't have to hail you every time any more.
MrBoss: But it's a really hard habit to break
MrBoss: Your anime pronounces it Cee-zar?
CaesarZeppeli227: Yep
MrBoss: Boycotted.
MrBoss: Guess I can't watch Rome either, with that logic.
MrBoss: Apparently Cicero is pronounced Kickero.
MrBoss: I want a Kickero stickero.
MrBoss: I wonder if they'll think of it.
sgtpepper1125: boss how come ur quoting chat in ur profile and removing the context from all my good jokes
StandinOvulation: complete scaredy cat wimp andyleigh
StandinOvulation: dont make joe take his mmmbbbbopppp top of, dam he hanson
StandinOvulation: joe gets bit shy over this lol...hip bumps my girls pink and Miranda etc to the tunes
StandinOvulation: grabs pink by her white wine and shakes her.....ur moving skips honey
chairryfrog: mao r u ok
StandinOvulation: if u chickolatas want to advocate fro domestic abuse go right ahead
StandinOvulation: imalways okay
StandinOvulation: seriouly can we still mikcthe cow or somec minpr
StandinOvulation: minor celb got hirt
Miranda719: seriously wood, can you even read your own messages
StandinOvulation: i push buttooon and ny accidnt wtong one nt by choice ok crow faced ***** *****
StandinOvulation: see that one i deliberte made and banneed
StandinOvulation: everytine i push enter is a negatibe this shit
StandinOvulation: come run down my roas andy and lest see who has the eye of the tiger
StandinOvulation: i dont care anynore with this weird fantasist andy who someoho a uk expert while running a millii
StandinOvulation: deal with me on my terms....that akk]]

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