Totentag

Totentag: Huh… Why wasn’t I in here by default? O.o

ironandcopper: That means the CIA and the Swiss mob have been hacking into your account, in order to eff with your win/loss ratio.

ironandcopper: True story, happened to my cousin-in-law’s dogsitter.

Totentag: Word. That would explain the random static in my water, eh?

ironandcopper: Yes, and the drop in your midichlorian count. That is, assuming your ability to use the Force has waned, right?

Totentag: Or perhaps that’s why my teeth don’t have as good of reception as usual.

Totentag: Oh, I refuse to use the Force. Impure and what not. I change the world with the use of the FSM.

ironandcopper: Ah, a devout slayer of Thetans, I see.

Totentag: Correct.

Totentag: Why am I so entertained by Farm Of Souls?

ironandcopper: Well, here’s a tip: Stop using toothpaste, and drinking metro water, and you’ll see better tooth-reception in a few weeks. Me? I’ve been picking up the Big Fat Morning show for a while now, using a fork and my molar with the filling.

Totentag: Hmm… Well, I haven’t used Toothpaste in about six years, and I only drink water filtered from my own urine so…. Must be the FBI interference.

ironandcopper: You might just be sensitive. You should switch to water that’s been blessed by Glenn Beck, or Rachel Maddow, if you’re of that denomination.

Totentag: So I have to choose between a Mormon and a Catholic?

ironandcopper: You could always unearth L. Ron Hubbard, take one of his fingers with a bolt-cutter, and wear it as a scapular.

ironandcopper: A non-Catholic, non-denominational scapular, that is.

Totentag: Eh, I’ve already been using Stalin’s penis as a scapular. Seems to have worked quite well to keep the centrists and Reich wingers away.

ironandcopper: Well, if privacy concerns and potential mind-readings are your main concern, you could try for Richard Stahlman’s foreskin.

ironandcopper: No promises he’ll part with it easily, though.

Totentag: I thought it was already in use by Bill Clinton?

ironandcopper: He regenerates it bi-annually using Alec Baldwin’s umbilical stem cells.

Totentag: Ah, understood. So, what happens once the stem cells run out?

ironandcopper: Well, there’s an infinite number of Alec Baldwin clones grown by the NSA: Each one only lives eighteen months, and they replace him every year, so…

Totentag: Doesn’t that eventually run the risk of repetitive cloning causing DNA breakdowns

ironandcopper: Well, yes, but Baldwin is the last member of a race of antarctic-dwelling supermen, whose quadruple-helix structured DNA, and five sets of redundant chromosomes make them very hardy.

Totentag: Ah, I see. And yet ,science doesn’t use that for sciencing some scientific help for science?

ironandcopper: They can’t.

ironandcopper: If you look at an antarctican’s DNA through a microscope, your eyes hemhorrage.

Ed3n2000: helloooo ppl

Totentag: Hmm…. Shouldn’t that be counterbalanced by using Horatio Caine’s sunglasses?

ironandcopper: I will not speak that man’s name, nor ehard it spoken unto me!

Totentag: Explique, por favor?

ironandcopper: Porque el es un confidente del Pollo Diablo!

Totentag: Forgive me for suddenly wanting to play Monkey Island again.

ironandcopper: oui

Totentag: Oi, I’ll make a deal with you.

Totentag: I shall not speak that man’s name again, as long as you never speak that vile language to me again. >.< French is the language of T3H D3B1L.

ironandcopper: Only if the deal’s backed by Goldman-Sach’s and Saddam Hussein.

Totentag: If you reincarnate Hussein, then I shall accept your terms. I am not approaching that man’s grave. The wild Cheeze-Its protecting it are much to dangerous for my lactose intolerance.

ironandcopper: Listen to yourself, man! You think Saddam’s dead? Pff! That’s EXACTLY what Emeril Lagasse WANTS you to think!

Totentag: I was present at his execution, and I had the honor of committing the first sodomy of his corpse. I therefore have no doubt that he is dead and gone.

Totentag: At least, in body.

Totentag: His spirit still haunts my scrotum from time to time. >.<

ironandcopper: Man, the mere mention of that man makes my junk burn!

Totentag: An understandable affliction.

ironandcopper: Well, I’m up again for poker, and a bottle of jameson’s is on the table, which means sheet just jumped the chain. Peace out.

Totentag: Alright then. Enjoy. Be careful not to trip over the sheet’s droppings.