azdinovem

jon, just won fuck you lottery yesterday when he wrecked his car, found his girlfriend banging another guy before he was going to announce that he was diagnosed with brain cancer.
(he would of told his parents but they eaten by a bear earlier that morning while camping)

My God! Jimmy! Stay away from the sun! It causes CANCER! My God! Jimmy! Don’t eat that! It causes CANCER! MY God! Jimmy! Don’t breathe in school! IT CAUSES CANCER!