Murder_Machine

Man I hate koalas. talk about the most disappointing animal. They only eat eucalyptus which has next to no caloric value and is actually poisonous to them so they spend 23 hours a day sleeping because a) they have no energy to spend moving around and b) they’re tripping their fucking balls off.

so during this time they just piss all over themselves. just in their sleep. just always dripping piss from their forked penises(their one redeeming feature).

So i was with this whole youth travel group in queensland and we get to go hold a koala. I’m all excited. so we get there and they hand me this obviously piss soaked and gumpy ball of coarse fur. Did I mention that they’re not soft? Like at all? I would put koala fur somewhere around woodchuck hair for softness, and on top of that they have this huge bone plate down their back. Fuckin bullshit.

So they hand me this piss soaked coarse hard ball thing with claws and then proceed to tell us about why koalas are endangered. My first guess was that their habitat was being eroded or something. Turns out that they all have chlamydia and it’s making them all sterile. They told me the ones in the park were all clean, but I really didn’t want to get my first std from koala piss.