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When he said "resist all temptation for this artifact" I didn't know wether he meant the gong or the mallet, so when he offered me the mallet I decided to walk away. Then the game called me lazy. Screw you game, I'm not lazy just for following poorly worded instructions, I'm lazy for lots of other reasons.
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I wanted to see an ending where, either after seeing all the endings or specifically the gong ending, there is another ending for striking the gong a second time. I'm pretty disappointed, seems either an attempt to ridicule virtue or just go for shock value. 3/5 stars, entertaining for a little although I don't think I'll take anything away from it or remember it later.
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Also, getting ending 1 in front of the gong lets you hit the gong and trigger the dialogue for ending 9, even though you'll only get the one ending.
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Got endings 2-10, was sitting there wondering what I could possibly do for ending 1, when suddenly Ping Pe sits down. Cue "Are you kidding me!?"
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There was once a man, actually, a couple. This couple disobeyed their mystical spirit guy - and their descendants (all of us) are still paying for that error 5000 or however many years later (we die). OF COURSE I'M GOING TO HIT THE GONG IF YOU TELL ME TO, MYSTICAL SPIRIT GUY! (apologies for the caps, heh)
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full walkthrough (SPOILERS): #1: at any point in the game, be idle until you are turned into a panda. #2: repeatedly don't understand the intro (also unlocks intro skipping). #3: go home (far left) without the mallet. #4: go home (far left) with the mallet. #5: give the mallet to the woman. #6: give the mallet to the alchemist. #7: give the mallet to the ice cream man. #8: give the mallet to the shady man. #9: strike the gong of truth with the hammer. #10: walk off the cliff (keep going right past the gong).
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in order to skip the intro, you must first find ending #2 (SPOILER: don't understand the intro enough times to unlock ending #2), and then you can skip it by pressing "s"
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Just wait at any point during the game, it doesn't matter where you are when someone IMs you and the game feels you have been idle too long.
To avoid further confusion on this (be warned, this is slightly SPOILERish):
You get the ability to always skip the intro after unlocking a certain intro-related ending.