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You know, one of the greatest pleasures in life is doing what people say you are unable to do.
C’est ca! Consider, a compassionate histrionic comrade, cast conspicuously as both casualty and criminal by the chanciness of fate. This countenance, no mere cladding of conceit, is a crumb of the common voice, now cleared, ceased. However, this courageous coming of a bygone compulsion stands clearly, and has committed to conquer these corrupt and caustic vermin conserving crime and confirming the cutthroat and compulsive contravening of choice. The only conclusion is revenge, a conflict clutched as a covenant, not in conceit, for the cost and correctness of such shall one day confirm the cautious and the clear-hearted. Clearly, this concoction of verbiage is confirmed as copiously circuitous, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me Crypto.
Lo, beyond the shores of Cryptopolis rise from the salted waters a demon, its wings of black wrath. The men below with no choice but acceptance of the ruin inevitable. Shadows sifted, light shook to inky blue, sand swathed the ruins, not yet made, ruined all the same. Amidst the eternal ruffles of time is the one moment, the definition of eternity, the seed from which all sprouts. Defined by the demon, its wings of black wrath.
You know Crypto?
The Crypto you think you know is shrouded in mystery. The information is sparse, washed away by the shadow of the sun, but that doesn’t keep me from being a down-to-earth and friendly fella.
Crypto has Friends? Seriously?
I lay my trust only with my closest friends, but have the privilege of spending time with some of the snazziest folks in Echonia. There’s that lanky Zee fellow who never fails to warn at least 8,999 times before a ban, that Eudylady who loves her science and blue footed boobies, that raging Hannerlady and her music, that Mario with his C4s, plumbing, rap-hate, and gingerocity. And who can forget Enbroa’s brotastic brotatoes which he uses when engaging in brolice brotality for Broseph Stalin when near the brocean of Broseidon, Patric’s ducking fish, Dave the salacious spud stud, Rebecca’s flirtatious face, Jaw’s mad comic making skills, Aubrey’s luscious locks, Bradley’s rabid atheism, Jay and his overexposed sex life, Katieperson’s peni- I mean puppy, Jester’s youthful cynicism, Para’s balls of soccer and steel, or Soh’s unzipped fly? Plus, no one can forget Rumblin’ Rumbiee, m0m the present pedobear, Beepbeep the Leninist, Lucky the mystical Irish unicorn, Ben the lax bro, USB the hub, Kayy bank, or Matt the ultra-conservative lover of semantics.
Where’s this guy been?
I was born into Digg Mark 1 as a user, but my first home on Kongregate was Zero Axis. For five months I had resided there, “friends” came and went, but eventually, due to a host of rancorous and bitter drama llamas and deceitful liars, I headed out. For two weeks I spent some time in the Chill Lounge, but it just didn’t feel like a Kongrehome to me, so I moved to the Vortex. I bounced between intellectual conversations and trolls and buddies and joking around until certain folks split up the regulars and convinced many of them to move away. The Vortex became the Deadtex as a result, so I relocated to Echo Hall, which has given me much in the years that I’ve been there, from very close friends to cool people to fun laughs. All in all, it’s a great little place.
Ever chatted with ’em?
I’m a multifaceted fella. Chipper, silly, serious, pensive, and nonchalant, are only a few of the characteristics that you’ll probably pick up on if you’re around me for awhile. You might end up seeing me as a history nerd, a jokester, a moderator who’s stricter than a Boa, maybe a moderator who’s more relaxed than a beach bum, a workaholic, a lover of tomfoolery and shenanigans, a caring person and big brother, a combination of these things, or something completely different. If you’d like to get to know me better, just stop by Echo Hall for a chat – I always love a nice conversation.
Moderation:
By big orange M makes some people think of me as a mommy, and others think of me as a monstrously fascist fun-killer, but in the end, I’m just a guy who does his best to keep everything in chat peaceful and pleasant. I don’t get angry or frustrated with those among us who act unpleasantly, but that doesn’t keep me from doing my job – if you’re harassing someone, being a jerk, or breaking any of the other rules of Kongregate conduct, you won’t last particularly long. In fact, I might just have to cover you in a light raspberry vinaigrette and cook you at 375 degrees for around 12 minutes so I can eat you with a delicious side of au graten potatoes. Seriously, though. If the room is good natured, friendly and mature, I’m lenient. If the room’s in disarray or someone is acting in a particularly unacceptable manner, I’m quite strict. My word is law; if you disagree with it, please appeal to the administration, who will set me straight if I’m out of line. Otherwise, don’t whine about the job I do, because doing so will only dig you a deeper hole. Lastly, I treat trusted and mature users with lenience; repeat offenders are rarely treated with any.
Crypto has a life?
I have other hobbies besides writing insanely long profiles, chatting, completing homework and swinging around magic hammers coated in Bansauce. I love to read (history books in particular), write, and debate; I enjoy swimming and hiking and playing around in the yard/river/forest with mah woofus, and spending time both with friends and with she whom I love. I watch the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, Whose Line is it Anyway, and Futurama, and occasionally I’ll play Civilization V or Team Fortress 2 on my computer.
Advice:
Take it or don’t, but at the least consider it. Step back every once in awhile to examine your life and strive to make yourself the best person you can be. Create yourself and examine this creation. Do your best not to worry about things when there’s nothing you can do about them, and if there is something you can do, try to just do it instead of fretting. Adhere to morals/ethics; they guide you, and the more you practice them, the more natural they become. The mark of a person is his/her character and sense of humor. Don’t get caught up in hysteria. Be kind. Remember that each of us is different and has the dignity of an individual. Do your own research; don’t just absorb the information everyone throws at you. Think creatively and for yourself. Stay away from anger; don’t neglect what it tells you, but control it. Fuel a positive purpose with a passion. Be a true human, remembering that you can be that person, that little torch of tolerance, humility, understanding, warmth, selflessness, thoughtfulness, humor, and helpfulness in someone else’s life. Have fun. Choose an excellent mentor. Keep away from boredom. Know your stuff. Be confident, but not over-confident, and keep an open mind. Politeness, eye contact and a firm handshake will get you far. Dance. Don’t forget that schools rarely teach Common Sense 101; make sure to teach it to yourself. Read, even if you don’t think you like reading, and write whether you think you’re good at it or not. Practice makes better. Enjoy your body while you still can, you’ll miss it when it starts to wear away. Take measured risks. Every day, share your experiences with someone and listen to theirs; Don’t hope – take the bull by the horns and accomplish. Sing, even if your voice makes the flowers wilt. Do not be afraid of the truth, and train yourself to be able to handle it. Get off this damned computer and do something that doesn’t require technology once in awhile. Laugh. Remember that you have control over your life, whatever seeds you plant for yourself will grow to maturity.
