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New profile content, again by my daughter, now 13:“Touching the World”
My pencil touches the paper and I touch the world. I scribble, blinded by the light of thought. This is me, this my song. I am in control. As I sit in the crowded cafe I realize who I really am and no one can take this away from me. My hand shakes tired but I keep going. I am my own glittering words hung brightly across the night sky.Writing my first song was as if I was wandering through a wondrous forest. I am lost, but happy, lost in the words I write on the page. Lost in my mind thinking of them. Though I know now it was a horrible song written in the mind of a six year old, it was my song. It was mine. The first one created by me. It always has and always will hold a place in my heart because it started me on the path to my greatest joy.
Now I live my life pursuing music with a voice teacher and going to a performing arts school. I also perform as much as possible and still have continued writing music.Until that moment I was completely hiding, like a turtle within a shell. Still now that is a problem for me. But when I have a pencil and paper, when I start to write a song, I am completely and totally free to be myself and in that moment I’m not hiding anymore.
Usually I let people make my decisions and I do whatever they say. But here I am, free, not blown around in the wind like a hopeless leaf or hiding like a squirrel in its tree. I am a unique butterfly, flying freely. The pencil hits the paper and my little turtle shell breaks. My butterfly wings spread out into the world and I fly, fly like the free and beautiful butterfly music has let me become. I realize now that I can be beautiful— Not pretend, but believe I am beautiful, special, brave, and strong, all the things I never believed I was. Even though I can’t keep this feeling forever I can get it whenever I write music, and it all started the first time I touched the world.