DrFlubiver

Nard: Fun Loving Useless Bastard
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"Is that a banana in your hand or did i walk in at a bad time?" - DrFlubiver
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I play a more extreme version of Duck, Duck, Goose; called Duck, Duck, Moose... it involves 6-12 people and a high powered rifle.
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I've got some bad news, good news, and really bad news. The bad news is, I lied about there being good news. The really bad news is you're all kicked off the island...
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basement is for the freaks and geeks of society.... not the meek and weak
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If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

-Rudyard Kipling
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let it be said that on Tuesday October 13th, 2009. I, FLUBBY PWNED THEMEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I am 100% swedish and 34% aroused.
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We Swedes will rule teh worldz!!!!!!
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Gonna clear something up for those of you who don't know. Yes, I am in a wheelchair... paralyzed waist down (can ask Bubblestehduck or Ellithian for confirmation) and no this isnt a touching moment where everyone gets teary eyed and feels sorry for me. I've been in a wheelchair 16 years... I'm 21... if you have any questions feel free to ask in chat or PM me... just know I'm a no nonsense kinda guy... okay mebeh a lil nonsense :D *beep* "if you want to leave a message... hang up and keep talking... don't worry I'm listening"
That being said: "Once you go cripple, you'll never walk straight again."
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MidnightDawnn: Bob forgot his wife's birthday present. Bob's wife got very angry, she said, "If I dont see a present in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds by tomorrow, you're dead!" The next morning Bobs wife woke up to find a present in the driveway, it was a scale... bob was never heard from again...
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Johnney and Marissa sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love then comes marriage, then comes an abrupt, tragic miscarriage, then comes blame, then comes despair, two hearts damaged beyond repair... Johnney leaves Marissa and takes teh tree... D-I-V-O-R-C-E *sobs uncontrollably*
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we need armor piercing bullets... cuz wat if sum punk kids go into the woods and put a bullet proof vest on a bear?? then wadya got? an invincible bear... and itll be raping ur churchs and burning ur women.
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Today I was walking into the grocery store when I saw a small boy in a trench coat that was clearly too big for him, suddenly a tall man in a ski mask sprinted around the corner, bowed to the little boy and said "master, things are not going as planned, we'll need another one." he then handed the kid a potato. I've never had so many questions. MLIA
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Today I was watching my cat, as he appeared to be showing a lot of interest in something small. I got up from the sofa to see what it was, but couldn't find anything. When I turned around he had taken my seat on the sofa. Well played. MLIA
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I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA
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Today, I was listening to my schools announcments, they said Extreme Chess Club was canceled because of injuries. That made my life. MLIA
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Today, after our teacher told the class to stop talking, my friend pretended to lock his lips and gave the "key" to me. I tossed it over my shoulder and looked behind me. The kid behind us was covering his eye and silent screaming in agony. I love my class. MLIA
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Today, I was filling out a survey about different learning needs and abilities at my school and question 7 was 'Can you read?'. I circled 'no' very casually. MLIA
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Tonight, I started to do an essay the night before it was due. I went to my professor's webpage for the directions. He must have known I would've started it the night before, as he had replaced the directions with a picture of a squirrel with a hand grenade. Touché professor. MLIA
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Today, in English, we were have a classroom debate on the topic "Is hunting an honorable sport?". Living in Idaho, most everyone was siding with "agree" while two other people and I disagreed. We were losing the debate in a landslide when I had to take the podium. When I got up there, I bowed my head and quietly said "May we have a moment of silence for Bambi's mother..." We won. MLIA.
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Today, I got a call from a telemarketer. After picking up I immediately asked if he was selling supplies that would get large amounts of blood out of carpet. He seemed very confused and said no. I then asked if he had a knife cleaning set. He stuttered for a while and then I pretended to yell to somebody else, "No, not there! In the back yard in the hole!" I don't think he'll be calling back. MLIA
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*news report* Today in a stunning turn of events, Bulletproof Man was involved in an accident at a local archery contest... *shows picture of bulletproof man with an arrow in his back* the cause of death is still unknown...
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superbendrbot: I STRANGLED MY CAT WHEN HE RAN AWAY THEN CAME BACK THE NEXT WEEK AND SAID "YOU IDIOT! I KNEW YOU WOULDEDNT LAST ON YOURE OWN:"
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troys50: propergands is a lie!!!
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Metaltomato: there once was a boy named renius, whos nose was shaped like a penis, he happened one day, to pass by the bay, where a woman said smell my delta of venus!
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renius123: There once was a man called tomato, he lived in a flat near erfarto, he wasn't agay, but then one day, he married a man called Robarto.
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monkeynads: i like my women like my whiskey.....12 years old and mixed with coke
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zejew: Christianity- belief that if you eat a cosmic jewish zombies flesh and telepthaticly tell him your thoughts he wil remove an evil presence within you which is their beause a rib women ate an apple that a snake told her to
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FireBug360: Lets you and me put the sex back in sexually transmited deseases?
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seeker12345: I ALREADY AM A MAN AFTER WHAT I DID TO THOSE LIL KIDS!
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LunchTime: F.E.M.A.L.E. ****ing Emo Man acts like (something with an E)
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adhsawhfi: ihaveapenis?
DrFlubiver: u do?!
adhsawhfi: Yes
faceonamilkcrtn: you do!!! o.O
ihaveapenis: you're not sure?
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LightKira: dont get mad...get glad...then use it to asphyxiate the person your mad at
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Metaltomato: oh please michaelgold...the last time you had pussy, pussy had you
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cheeseman66: your so inbred your mom and your dad where the same person
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vampirelvr: Life, is like God's way of kicking your sorry ass out of heaven and yelling, "AND DON'T COME BACK!!" Death, is like God's way of dragging you back up to heaven by your collar, mumbling, "Okay, I think you've done enough damage..."
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vampirelvr: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilted, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head!"
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gamerman21: IM A STRATE A STUDENT
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Bounteyhunter749: peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!
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Bounteyhunter749: I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
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Bounteyhunter749: Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between
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Bounteyhunter749: When boys say i luv u, U beleve its true, 9 months later he says to hell with you, The baby is a bastard, the mother a whore, None of this would have happened if the rubber hadnt tore! s blind, 2 neighbours that are nuts, the others an arsehole & your best mates a c*nt
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Bounteyhunter749: sex drugs rock & roll, speed weed & birth control, life's a bitch & then u die, so f**k the world & lets get high!
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Bounteyhunter749: I see your face when I am dreaming That’s why I always wake up screaming.
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Bounteyhunter749: Of loving beauty u float with grace if only u could hide ur face
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Bounteyhunter749: want 2 feel ur sweet embrace but dont take that paper bag of ur face
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Bounteyhunter749: my feelings 4 u no words can tell except 4 maybe “go 2 hell”
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Bounteyhunter749: Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are not.
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Bounteyhunter749: Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they...
Bounteyhunter749: have a son
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Bounteyhunter749: Georgie Porgy pudding and pie. Kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play, He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
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Bounteyhunter749: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, Said 'F*ck him, He's only an egg.
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Bounteyhunter749: Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone. When she bent over Rover took over, And gave her a bone of his own
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Bounteyhunter749: Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed
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Rheeperpwn: Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking Mexicans Sadly this backfired, and all it has resulted in is that Chuck Norris now looks for candy after he kicks his victims.
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Rheeperpwn: If you play Led Zeppelin's "stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
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Greg19: she sadly regrets suckin metals 3 inch hard cock
SakuraBiyori: Totally
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blahguy28740: it's called sticking it to the man
DrFlubiver: u didnt deny being a whore blahguy
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05at1: Josh, Silence is golden, Duct-tape is silver
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mike4prez: hey dr.phill, if i wanted comebak id wipe it off your mothers face
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turtle39555: Roses are Red, Violets are Twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted!
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drphil3: roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs, and i'll give you an hour
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DrFlubiver: is there a monkey in ur pants or are u just happy to see me?
Doomlaw: neither
05at1: both!
Doomlaw: a seventh!
05at1: seventh what?
Doomlaw: of both!
05at1: both of what?
Doomlaw: exactly!
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RavingFrenzyV2: i luv u
RavingFrenzyV2: u luv me
RavingFrenzyV2: lets go rape
RavingFrenzyV2: barney in a tree
RavingFrenzyV2: with a baseball bat
RavingFrenzyV2: and a 4 by 4
RavingFrenzyV2: no more purple dinosaur
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DrFlubiver: aron ate dick
aron3143: All day everyday ^^
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05at1: Roses are red, Your waffle is blue, sort it out, or there's no sex for you.
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A1chemyst: whatcha gonna do with all that junk inside that trunk? ima rumage through it and find a knife because you saw the body!!!!
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A1chemyst: there are no male and female rabbits, everyone knows bunnies are made from hats
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05at1: I know, but he's the new basement biatch
backspace1234: your right now fuk off
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Glomple: Dead babies are just funny.
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turtle39555: just cause im black dont mean I no damn ****!
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milkman66: yo brohan I just had a brogasm after i saw my breh with that browski in the brotel by the bro fest
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LunchTime: My milkshake brings all the whales to the yard, damn right it's better than lard!
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turtle39555: your mom
turtle39555: likes men almost as much as YOU DO D=<
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turtle39555: Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.”
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69Chance69: yo mamas soo fat when she saw a tour bus full of white people she said STOP THAT TWINKIE
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Wuvoo: you mama's like a brick, she dirty, shes flat on both sides AND shes always getting laid by mexicans.
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NewEarth: you sure put the jew in jewvinile.
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05at1: When watching the video of Saddam Hussein being hanged, I was thinking to myself "Is there noting on the internet I won't masturbate to?"
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Achilleus993: My 2 lesbian neighboors gave me a watch for my birthday, think they missunderstood, "i wanna watch"
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turtle39555: When Michael Jackson was asked what his favorite thing was he replied “28 year olds” when asked why he replied “because there are 20 of them”.
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A1chemyst: going to church makes u as much of a saved person as standing in a garage makes you a car
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05at1: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
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emp3: A husband and wife were talking over dinner. "I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time." Said the husband. She replied: "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis. "
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Tabiso: "I put the STD in stud, all I need is U."
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Torismaser: ?(>’_’)># I was gonna give u this waffle
#’#‘^-^S WORLD!!!
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KcKelli: Linzee- yo mama so fat she sat on walmart and lowered the prices
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Promethean428: christmahannukwanzika
Zech9002: What religion is that?
Zech9002: Idiotism?
Promethean428: consumerism
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DrFlubiver: hey Ninjasoul_TSS IMMA PEDO-FEEL YOU UP!
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Rheeperpwn: dawns only ever orgasmed once
Rheeperpwn: god saw it coming and made some little person build a boat XD
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Blazeing: shit i just broke my g string while fingering a minor!!!
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(quote)
-Do you speak English?
=Yes
-Name?
=Adolf Bumin.
-Sex?
=3 to 5 times a week.
-No, I mean... male/female?
=Yes, male, female and sometimes camels.
-Holy cow!
=Yes, cows, sheep... animals in general.
-Oh dear...
=No, deer run too fast.
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FetusForHire: i went from 0 to pregnant in 3 seconds flat!
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turtle39555: acas=accident caused after sex
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steelersfan9: maybe it only kills fat people
FatOldRobot: Hey, that's racist, i'm not people.
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Cutiwittheface: I'm a get fat tonight
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etaltomato: wow...he fell apart like a wet tissue in the rain
DrFlubiver: or a small boy at one of your 'pool parties'
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AlexKantra: i wonder if flub uses rofl in a completely different manner than we do
AlexKantra: do you, flub?
DrFlubiver: yes
DrFlubiver: I literally roll on the floor
DrFlubiver: laughing as I crush your feet :P
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AlexKantra: mexican stereotype number one: they live off tortillas
Hermie143: and beans
AlexKantra: mexican stereotype number two: they're all brown
AlexKantra: mexican stereotype number three: they can all run fast, jump big walls, and swim long distances
DrFlubiver: mesican stereo stealer type number 4: they're lazy
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Hermie143: PHX AZ
AlexKantra: hermie lives in phux azz
AlexKantra: they're an anal bunch
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The many offensive names for DrFlubiver:
German = FlubFuhrer
Jewish = Flub Flubenstein
Native American = ILoveGamblingiver
Asian Indian = Flubistapooravager
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troys50: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bannana.
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DrFlubiver: FRIEND song: F is for penis who Reanimate dead friends I is for ugly peeeepole E is for enemas Never in the same place! ... D is for.... dicks :P
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DrFlubiver: fishjobs, scalerubs... or w/e it is whorefish do
DrStrangelove87: Gillsucking
DrFlubiver: ^
AgentAlaska49: again i am a taxi fish
DrStrangelove87: More like a conductor fish. Because when you are around trains get run.
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DrFlubiver: bananaphone usually
DrFlubiver: but not because I'm homophobic
DrFlubiver: I'm actually quite racist
DaineDragon: good for u :D
DrFlubiver: my dentist disagrees with you
DrFlubiver: as he is of the asian persuasion
DrFlubiver: not a fan of either c word
DrFlubiver: technically he's a she but, she looks like a man
DrFlubiver: and I refuse to make acknowledge her input into my opinion of him
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supermal123: If demons could just randomly appear, why didnt her do this much much more earlier
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LizGoddd: I like Rebecca Black more
BrainD3adz: are you on drugs?
LizGoddd: I think shes hor
LizGoddd: hot*
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LizGoddd: Even art Kelly couldn't touch the kid
XxSkyrim: wtf
LizGoddd: ?
DrFlubiver: art kelly?
DrFlubiver: artemis?
BrainD3adz: machine gun kelly?
XxSkyrim: yeah whos art kelly
XxSkyrim: thts y I said wtf
DrFlubiver: art is short for artemis... so Artemis Kelly
LizGoddd: Im the mother****ing Queen... Lizabeth
DrFlubiver: I want to say international jewel thief
DrFlubiver: Artemis Kelly international jewel thief... yeah that sounds about right
LizGoddd: Art Kelly was a basketball player -.-...
DrFlubiver: who couldnt art kelly touch?
XxSkyrim: Oh ilove the nba
XxSkyrim: NBA
LizGoddd: Natural bad ass NBM
XxSkyrim: lol
DrFlubiver: why would art kelly... even want to touch nicki minaj?
LizGoddd: BC shes hor
DrFlubiver: whore*
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XxSkyrim: im proud tht i was nvr under the influenced rugs
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Mass Effect 3 (Step Brothers ending): Shepard and the Reapers start talking, and it turns out they are both into night vision goggles and karate. The Reapers decide not to destroy the galaxy because there will be so much more room for activities.
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Hop8656: so many pepole die each day it was bowned to happen
DrFlubiver: bound
DrFlubiver: bound
DrFlubiver: I will stab you
cheeseman66: Oh flub, it was bowned to happen
Hop8656: bound
cheeseman66: Like I am bowned to join the fabulous foursome, My power is I am always rock hard
cheeseman66: On account of all that viagra I ate
DrFlubiver: Hop bowned down when he went to the bathroom
DrFlubiver: ruined perfectly good towels too
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cheeseman66: I want to be off my head on a bit of everything, snorting coke of a whores tits with viagra everywhere
Hermie143: you see, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much...
cheeseman66: I want to make a huge mess and leave a really awkward conversation for friends and family
cheeseman66: Hermie, no thats not it
cheeseman66: Its when a mommy becomes bored with daddy and daddy no longer makes her happy, he has to start taking viagra
cheeseman66: Which makes her very happy, (providing daddy isnt a total chump)
XxSkyrim: ^ perfect
DrFlubiver: and if he's "happy" for more than four hours he goes to the ER
DrFlubiver: where they amputate his penis
DrFlubiver: and inserts a vagina
DrFlubiver: and that's how you were born
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AlexKantra: You just went full cripple. You never go full cripple
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AlexKantra: You wouldn't stand two seconds in jail, flub
AlexKantra: Get it? Stand?