duckyrox358's profile

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.
— Albert Einstein
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Anyway, like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. Tha- that’s about it.
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My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
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Haikus are easy
But they sometimes don’t make sense
Refrigerator
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. ________________________________________________________________
It’s better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
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Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
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Professionals are predictable. It’s the amateurs that are dangerous.
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Field experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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A real person has two reasons for doing anything… a good reason and the real reason.
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I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out he didn’t work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.
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If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
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Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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Why do they call it “common sense” when it’s so rare?
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Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
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Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
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People who think they know what they’re doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
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No shoes, No shirt, No service… So do I have to wear pants?
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The only way to get rid of corruption in high places is to get rid of high places.
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Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way. Wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
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You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
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I remember when legal used to mean lawful. Now it means some kind of loophole.
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Remember never to drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill it.
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There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Just pray that it isn’t a train.
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Nothing brings people closer than a common enemy.
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A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
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When people talk to God, it’s called prayer. When God talks back, it’s called schizophrenia.
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Accept risk. Accept responsibility. Put a lawyer out of business.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
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If practice makes perfect and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
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You never learn anything by doing it right.
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War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
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If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
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If the enemy is in range, so are you.
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Never interrupt your opponents while they are making mistakes.
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It’s not that I don’t pay attention to detail. I just ignore it.
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Whoever said nothing is impossible clearly never tried slamming a revolving door.
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
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The trouble isn’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.
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A smart person knows all the rules so he can break them wisely.
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Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.
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Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who’s got the smallest.
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There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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A bargain is something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.
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The law of heredity is that all undesirable traits come from the other parent.
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Everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.
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The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.
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An optimist says the cup is half full. A pessimist says the cup is half empty. An engineer says the cup is twice the size it needs to be.
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It’s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
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There are two different kinds of people in this world: Those who finish what they start, and
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Duck of the KDLM group.