gamer110011

i love being random and i love all my kong friends!
favorite quotes:

“Who the f**k is hank the talking llama?!”

☺this is bob☺
☺bob likes you☺
☺bob likes sharp things☺
☺i suggest you run from bob☺

I KNOW KUNG FU!…and 50 other dangerous words

WARNING: DON’T SET YOURSELF ON FIRE! it kinda hurts

Life is like a pack of gum! i’ve yet to figure out why!

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

If Harry Potter’s so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.

Teacher: Ok in Macbeth luck is described as a whore, this is because it can go with anyone, but Macbeth doesn’t care about luck because he makes his own luck!
Student: If Luck is a whore and Macbeth makes his own luck doesn’t that make Macbeth a pimp?

“I got 98% on the tests! how much did you get?” “125%” “HOW!? there was no extra credit!” “i just answered Chuck Norris to every question!”

The meek shall inherit the Earth after we’re done with it.

Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

Everyone needs belief in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his

I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers

What you call dog with no legs?
Don’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils …

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

No,please don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them

Press any key to continue, where’s the any key?

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals!… except the weasels.

I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff… and I want in

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was …."
“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”