Re: Your character-
The way it looks at the moment, it’s very basic and gives me the gist of what your character looks like and what your character is about, but I feel like you could elaborate more on specifics that make your character more unique. There are also things about your character that are not really necessary to include. I’l…
show moreRe: Your character-
The way it looks at the moment, it’s very basic and gives me the gist of what your character looks like and what your character is about, but I feel like you could elaborate more on specifics that make your character more unique. There are also things about your character that are not really necessary to include. I’ll tell you in more detail section by section.
Appearance: Check the spelling on a text editor program like MS Word. You’ll catch more spelling errors that way, i.e. Appearance. You tell me what color your character’s hair is and what their skin and eyes look like but it doesn’t really tell me much more than that. How does your character wear his hair? How long is it? How is his face shaped? Are there any noticeable scars, or details, or oddities? How is his body built? Is it slender? Muscular? Heavy? How tall is he? The one thing you don’t need to include here is the clothing information because those will always change with the scenario, i.e. Sleeping vs. Fighting. Obviously clothes caked in blood won’t be suitable for bed.
Weapon of Choice: Elaborate on the Mistvale family powers that the sword emulates. You mention two powers but there’s clearly a lot of lore that could be explained about the Mistvale Family. You’d want to put the Mistvale family powers in an Abilities section and list out which powers specifically your weapon has here (so as to avoid the assumption that it can do everything).
Info: It’s very broad. Instead of generalizing, why not talk about a few key moments in your character’s history that might have been seen as important or influential to his current situation? Again, you might want to elaborate more on where he came from. You talk about him leaving home but not what his home was like. You also include things about magic powers but this would probably be more appropriate in an Abilities/Skills section.
Hope this helps,
Kakkoii
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