Hi just a normal person can be annoying can be funny but alwys willing to have a war in chat. i have been silenced twice and banned once please leave a shout ANCIENT CHINESE TORTURE “I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?” “Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.” “Ok,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old given her father’s age, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn’t hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, “Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.” “Well, that’s pretty pathetic,” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked the large rock, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.” In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, “Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.” MINICOOPER JOKE (please comment) this boy gets out of bed in the night because he had a nightmare and rushes into mummy and daddys room BOY: ciuld i stay in your room for the night im scared. MUM: sure boy falls asleep but minutes later he is woken up BOY: what the hell is goin on DAD: just parking my limo in your mums garage BOY: ok as long as your quiet again boy falls asleep but is also woken up again BOY: what the hell is happening this time DAD: just goin to change the oil in my limo BOY: ok dad comes back DAD: please move son just need to park my limo again BOY: sorry may mini cooper is already in the garage. CONSTRUCTION WORKERS JOKE He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, “What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!”. The other guy says, “I knew that! I was just trying to tell you – I’m coming!” Activity Feedkingrossy has not published any activity yet.Would you like to post a shout to welcome them to Kongregate? AwardsMy Games |