porkchops

I’m a dude. Who likes porkchops, and does not like to be eaten. I also like ribs and salmon. Maybe I should have called myself ribchopmon. But that would make no sense, now would it? But basically, it’s all I can do to make this interesting… or is it? Well, maybe I could tell a story…. One day, in the mighty fortress of Whipcraft, in the Mountain of Diligence, overlooking the Plains of Song, was a boy. He was an orphan, adopted by dwarves, and he was kinda like them to. He liked building things, and going on adventures, although they were albeit small. But then one day… something horrible happened… The evil Attnamese empire raided Whipcraft, and although the military fought them off, they managed to steal the boy. No one knew his name, and he just liked to call himself Ivan. He was taken as a slave, and shipped off to New Attnam and forced to gather bananas. One day, however, he was given a chance. Deliver a letter to the king of the Attnamese empire, and then he maybe had a chance to be freed. After delivering it, he was told to go kill a monster of great power, with no one supervising him, and if he did, he would be freed. He took this quest, going into the beasts layers, slowly getting stronger and finding equipment of great magic and power, and then he eventually came across the beast. No sane person could possibly describe the beast, but it seemed to be the very icon of chaos and darkness. After a long hard battle, in which Ivan had to heal many times, and acquired many wounds, he finally defeated the beast and all of its minions. He then took his chance, technically free, ran off into the world, trying to find his beloved home, Whipcraft again. After three years of adventuring, killing other great beasts, and having his fame grow, Ivan eventually found Whipcraft… well what was left of it. It had been attacked by something… well, goblins and orcs, but the main thing was, from what seemed to be engraved on a series of walls, a green monster that exploded with great ferocity and power. Cursing, Ivan swore to avenge his adopted family and, subconsciously, decided to try to find his real parents. After going into the fort a bit more, he found one of the dreaded green monsters, which seemed to creep on four muscular green legs, and so he decided to call it a Creeper. It started steaming, but with a quick stroke of his sword, Alranmen, also known as ‘Lightning stroke’, ‘Runeblade’, and ‘The destroyer of darkness’, he killed it. Some green goo which seemed to be the monsters blood was smeared on the sword, and disgusted, Ivan flicked his sword at the wall, which a torch was hanging from, and suddenly the green goo exploded. Something strange happened when it exploded. It seemed as if multiple fragments of color flew everywhere in a storm of color and beauty, and what was left after that, seemed to be… a tear. In time and space. A doorway to something… something big. Ivan, seeing this as important, stepped into the rift, and burst out the other side, extremely dizzy. When he finally got his bearings, he noticed that he was in a blocky world. There were many animals here, and Ivan, wanting to explore further, did something here. No one was sure what he did, but rumors said he built a town over a decade, with his bare hands and any resources he could find, and then left that world. It seemed that time passed very slow in that world, and it was only a minute later from when he went into the rift. Ivan looked back into the rift, nodded, and then went forward. No one knows where he is now, although his legacy is immense, his legend never dieing. Some say he found his true parents and is living with them in some forgotten place. Some say he is in the process of wiping out the Attnamese empire, or maybe he already had. And another rumor was that he gathered 6 other people, got a wagon of goods, and traveled to some far off land, and then started building… something. One name has leaked out though: Bluewhip. A name, a code, something else? Who knows. No one knows Ivan’s exact whereabouts, or what he is doing, except maybe one person. And who that person is? Well, I’m never telling. Wink