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Kongregate

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Ok, so I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors. But there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have "beaten me with their paper" I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you stupid asshole------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Thy Holy Kongmandments: Throughout your stay on kongregate, it would be most wise of you to follow these commandments laid down by the church. I. Gaming is thy holy pastime, thou shalt not have outdoor activities before thee. II. Thou shalt not be fanboyish in the name of gaming. III. Remember keep holy the game release dates. IV. Honor thy PC and thy console. V. Thou shalt not kill steal. VI. Thou shalt not frag... without gloating in the aftermath. VII. Thou shalt lose graciously; thou shalt not bitch nor whine when fragged. VIII. Thou shalt accept thy dice rolls as the will of the gods. IX. Thou shalt teabag only in the wake of unquestionable ownage. X. Thou shalt not cheat nor support the farming of gold. XI. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's rocket launcher; though shalt not covet thy neighbor's epic mount, nor his video card, nor his high score. XII. Know thy group function; thy DPS shalt avoid aggro, thy tank shalt not attempt to DPS, thy mage shalt not forget mana potions, and thy healer shalt not go AFK without notifying thy group. Keep them with you always.

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