scottage

I’m 24 feet tall, I use city mailboxes for shoes. I can fly, breathe fire, and sing the songs of the gentle humpback whale. I build birdhouses for small birds out of larger birds for a living. I drive an ice-cream truck with a frozen caveman in the freezer, just in case i need him. I’m covered from head to toe in scales, and I shed my skin twice yearly. I met my current girlfriend when I saved her from three dragons at a small barbecue joint in tennessee. The ribs there were excellent though, even if two of them were my own. I’m only half sasquatch, on my Father’s side… and I’m three-quarters sasquatch on my Mother’s side, making me 1 1/4 sasquatch.