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hi im catherine im half cat…lol…OBAMA WON YAY…oh yea…i love alexis…lol…and albinotiger is my pet…lol again…blaine (naruko_) is my sister

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " ‘Code 3’ in housewares"… and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

6. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti – depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!”

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting “pikachu, I choose you!”

Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in L.A., you may
not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has
now issued a special application and driver’s test solely for the Los
Angeles Metropolitan Area.

Name:______________ Stage name: ________________ Agent: ______________ Attorney: __________________ Sex: ___ male ____ female _____ formerly male_______ formerly female __________ both ___________ If female, indicate breast implant size: ____ Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___ Occupation: [ ] Lawyer [ ] Actor/Waiter [ ] Film-maker/Self-employed [ ] Writer [ ] Car Dealer [ ] Pan-handler [ ] Agent [ ] Hooker/Transvestite [ ] Other; please explain: ______________ Please indicate how many times you expect to have sex in a car: Please indicate how much you plan to spend for this sex. Please list: Brand of cell phone: __________. (If you don’t own a cell phone, please explain.) Please check haircolor: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead Men: Please list shade of hairplugs. Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply) [ ] Eating a wrap [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Talking on the phone [ ] Slapping kids in the backseat [ ] Having sex [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [ ] Snorting cocaine [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety [ ] Surfing the net via laptop Please indicate how many times: a) you expect to shoot at other drivers, and b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving. If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately: a) Call the police to report the crime; b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news on a high-speed chase; c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through; d) Call your therapist; d) None of the above (South Central resident). Please indicate if you drive: a) a Beamer, b) a Lexus, c) a Mercedes, or d) Cabriolet. If your answer is D, please add six to eight weeks to normal delivery time for your driver’s license. In the event of an earthquake, should you: a) stop your car, b) keep driving and hope for the best, c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones, or d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4? In the instance of rain, you should: a) never drive over 5 MPH, b) drive twice as fast as usual, or c) you’re not sure what “rain” is. Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____. Are you presently taking any of the following medications? a) Prozac; b) Zovirax; c) Lithium; d) Zanax. If none, please explain: __________________. Length of daily commute: a) 1 hour; b) 2 hours; c) 3 hours; d) 4 hours or more. When stopped by police, should you a) pull over and have your driver’s license and insurance form ready, b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405, c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit?

There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere
where the following people are stranded:

• 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
• 2 French men and 1 French woman
• 2 German men and 1 German woman
• 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
• 2 English men and 1 English woman
• 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
• 2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman
• 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
  One month later on this beautiful deserted island in the middle of
  nowhere …

• The 1 Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman
• The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily
  together in a “menage a trois”—-
• The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they
  alternate with the German woman
• The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman
  is cleaning and cooking for them
• The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to
  the English woman
• The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look
  at the woman and started swimming.
• The two Swedish men are contemplating the virtues of suicide
  while the woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own and
  the true nature of feminism. But at least it’s not snowing and the
  taxes are low.
• The Irish began by dividing their island Northside-Southside and
  setting up a distillery. They don’t remember if sex is in the
  picture, cause it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of
  coconut-whiskey, but at least they know the English aren’t getting
  any…