Private: "SIR! We have wounded men and vehicles in need of repair and the enemy is about to finish us off! We can't hold this position much longer!"
General: "Don't worry! Just raise a flag and you'll all live to fight another day."
Heavy Bomber Pilot: SIR! We have flown through heavy AA fire wiped out the entire enemy formation!
Commander: Very well done. Thanks to your actions, a tank commander who was hanging back the whole time gets a promotion!
Survivor Juan: SIR! The zombies are coming! We must close the compound doors, but none of us can get to it in time!
Leader: Use your mind! We can use our psychic abilities to close the doors!
HERC Trooper: SIR! Commander! SIR!
HERC Commander: Yes, private?
HERC Trooper: Can I move to better cover? This fence post can't even stop a soccer ball!
HERC Commander: Use your brain, private! If the raiders see us using bad cover, they will get the idea that we will stop at nothing to defend our point of operation, and run away!
Fighter: Sir! Recon has spotted a heavily armed trap in our path!
Leader: Good work to you and Recon. Now, Recon and Scavenger will keep that HERC Heavy Trooper Suppressed, Engi will go up and knock him down, giving you enough cover to run up to the landmine and step on it. I gave you a Uni armor just for this reason.
Medic: General, I have a question.
General: Go ahead, soldier.
Medic: If Rancor weapons contravene every war convention known to man, why can't we put some of my "Zombie Antidote" into their acid containers?
General: Bad idea. Rancor only contravenes laws known to man, not zombie. You go ahead and do that and the shielders will storm our base.
*SPOILER INCLUDED*This just made me cut myself to obtain my blood, cut a tree branch to obtain the leaves, and get some antibiotics. I shall then mix it in my ninja mixer. Finally, I'll launch it into space.
Survivor Jose: Sir! We keep on getting attacked by humans and infected! We are tired, and can't hold the line any longer!
Leader: Hmm... gather all of the survivors, and make them sit in a circle. Then. we will all read "White Flag" and "Camouflage."
Survivor Jose: SIR! On the last scavenging mission, we found a fully-operational Humvee! Our engi checked it out, and the gas mileage is superior! May we keep it?
Leader: Hmm... NO WAY JOSE! Where is your brain? Think of the environment! Too much cars will mean too much pollution! Go put that back where it belongs.
Survivor Jose: Sir, why don't we chop down some of the trees in the parks? We can get loads of wood from them, and maybe even a seed that we can take and plant in our compound...
Leader: No way Jose! Think of the environment! The world needs more trees now, thanks to the zeds running around. We should leave the trees alone, and get our wood from the hardware stores!
I'm a level 55 Engi with 100kg sword. One day, I met a lone zombie. Feeling bad for him, I decided to slash his head off. My sword went through his head like it was butter. Feeling satisfied, I lowered my weapon, waiting for the abomidation to fall. It did not fall; the numbers displaying 267 in red floated above his head. So I grabbed a mace and clonked his head in. The number displaying 200 floated above his head. His head popped back out. Feeling afraid, I was about to make a run for it until my leader shot a bullet through me, and hit the zed in the foot. It then did a backflip and died on the spot.
Private: SIR! The enemy has brought in tanks to dominate us, sir!
General: Each man shall be equipped with 3 grenades to take them down!
6 hrs later...
Private: Sir! Our grenades bounce off enemy armor, Sir!
General: Then how come the enemy is retreating?!!?
Private: Sir, the grenades bounced off the armor and blew up their base, sir!