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Dog Eat Dog

Play Dog Eat Dog

Aug. 07, 2012

Rating: 4

The sad thing here is that it's a newer badge than IndestrutoTank! AE, but it was released 11 months earlier. That means somebody stumbled upon this game long past any "it's hot at the moment" excuse and decided to give it a badge. Why?

intrusion

Play intrusion

Aug. 06, 2012

Rating: 2

I love that the soldiers keep shooting your dead body, forever, with maximum firepower.

Mushroom Revolution

Play Mushroom Revolution

Jul. 25, 2012

Rating: 1

This game is pretty terrible. It feels more like an early tech demo for something else, complete with placeholder graphics and almost nothing to distinguish it from other tower defense games. The levels are long, tedious, and slow to the point of boredom for the first 50 waves, then turns to utter frustration as the enemies way outpace the possible damage you can deal to them. You have to pray to the random number god that you can hit them with teleports or instant kills. I get the feeling not many badge hunters bothered with level 10 proper.

Feudalism II

Play Feudalism II

Jul. 21, 2012

Rating: 1

This has to be the most awesomely hilarious introduction I have ever seen in a video game.

Endless War 5

Play Endless War 5

Jul. 21, 2012

Rating: 7

And thus, World War II was won by a single guy in a tank, who led the Allied Forces to victory in the heart of Germany (located somewhere in northern Russia) by simply staying at least 150 feet away from the enemies and pounding them as they just sit there.

Crystal Saga

Play Crystal Saga

Jun. 21, 2012

Rating: 10

Well, as lazy as this game is, at least they put in features that let me be just as lazy playing it.

Papa's Burgeria

Play Papa's Burgeria

May. 21, 2012

Rating: 7

I can't help but imagine the development team put forth years of study into everything that makes a Flash game specifically to AVOID having to do the job they're simulating here.

Dawn of the Dragons

Play Dawn of the Dragons

May. 12, 2012

Rating: 10

Oh, yay, badges for yet another unimaginative, completely linear, Facebook-style microtransaction game with arbitrary padding through the worst game mechanic of all: the veeeeerrrrrry sloooooowlyyyyyy recharging energy bar. It's kind of depressing a game that falls way short of even Dream World of all things can still get on the front page.

Sola Rola - The Gravity Maze

Play Sola Rola - The Gravity Maze

May. 05, 2012

Rating: 20

Decompiling the SWF and poking inside, it appears this game draws all its important assets from the Gimme5games server in "/solarola/". Notably, "translate.xml" and "levels/levelList.xml". These files can no longer be reached since they changed their deeplinks to "/play-game/sola-rola#" and they seem to have been deleted in the process. It's sad that it's something this vital; I was hoping it was pinging an ad tracker or some other useless process that could be dummied out. You can bother Kongregate all you want to get them to delete this game/badge (all they can really do), but the real target here is Gimme5games. Go to that site, click on "terms" at the bottom, get the email, and notify them of this post.

Fracuum

Play Fracuum

May. 01, 2012

Rating: 0

This has the fastest "load to badge" I have ever seen.

Tripod Attack

Play Tripod Attack

Apr. 24, 2012

Rating: 1

Pesky humans.

Burrito Bison Revenge

Play Burrito Bison Revenge

Mar. 03, 2012

Rating: 1

Went along until I got the quest "Squash a lucky gummy in the survival mode while you're a cotton candy". There's "that's kind of unlikely" lucky and then there's "winning three perfect Keno games in a row" lucky. Any badge requiring all quests finished damn well better be Impossible.

Cardian

Play Cardian

Dec. 26, 2011

Rating: 3

Once you get Parting Gift (each enemy killed takes 1 point off the killer's portal), this game becomes near-impossible to lose. Build a deck of that card, at least 8 gold mines, 1-2 crystal mines, Chaos Urn (5 free souls), and 10 Demon Worshippers. Wait for the enemy to use their global card, then cast Parting Gift and spam summons. No strategy needed at all. Enjoy your badge.

Santa Rockstar: Metal Xmas 3

Play Santa Rockstar: Metal Xmas 3

Dec. 25, 2011

Rating: 0

This is a great game on its own, but for those that still have wired USB guitar controllers, it becomes an incredible game. Windows XP recognized my Xbox 360 Xplorer (the Guitar Hero II pack-in) as a game controller with the five frets mapped to 12435 and the strum bar to POV Hat Up/Down. Using a program called JoyToKey, you can map those to the corresponding keys in Rockstar mode. For Rock Power, I mapped upstrum to it and downstrum to strum, but those just going for the badge could map the same key for both strum and Rock Power. Of course, I can't guarantee this method will work for other controllers or if there are equivalent programs for other operating systems, but this is a start towards playing it the way Harmonix intended it.

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