dawnoftheninja

HUMAN: Hey Kitty, I bought you a brand new toy!
CAT: My food bowl is insufficiently full.
HUMAN: Aren’t you excited?
CAT: I can see the bottom of my food bowl.
HUMAN: Let me get it out of the packaging so I can show it to you.
CAT: THE BOTTOM! I SEE THE BOTTOM OF THE BOWL!
HUMAN: Okay, here it is, I’ve almost got it out of the packaging…
CAT: Srsly, I am DYING of hunger here. DYING. That food at the bottom doesn’t taste as good as the stuff on top. Do you expect me to EAT that crap? Honestly, I stick around because you’re mostly competent, but lately, I’m having my doubts.
HUMAN: You must be so excited about this!
CAT: Hunger. I has it! Why aren’t you listening?
HUMAN: Here it is!
CAT: It’s a paper bag. WTF? Am I supposed to eat this? I’m hungry, idiot!
HUMAN: Wait for it…
CAT: AAAAAA! It’s crinkling! KILL KILL KILL!
HUMAN: I knew you’d like it.
CAT: Shhh! I need to study my prey. And destroy it. DEATH WILL BE YOURS, EVIL BAG!