The crux of the Battle of Hastings rested not on the strength of the English longbow, but in King Harold's ability to type "Pig Filth" in under one second.
What they don't know is that I forged my degree from Creepy Wizard Architecture School. I travel the land with my senile mentor, building shoddy towers that are due to collapse within the year. But I've got my gold and my upgrades, and they're just stupid peasants.