GhostScout, it doesn't have to be convoluted. There are multiple English speakers in this game and a simple command like "the item's Diamond!" or "all left and distract guards, I have item" will do.
I like Archsteel's idea of a guard impersonator, and also Admiral brought up the idea of converting Storage C(office) Guard Spawn(Mansion) and Container(Camp) into a monitor room. Guards going in there would be allowed to go spectator mode, except that he views the item locations instead of the players. Would also be useful for newbie players learning where the items are.
Top tip for guards: Never open the door to an unlighted room without instantly checking the sides of the door.
Top tip for thieves: Never try to fight a guard one on one unless you're sure you can win(eg. cobra stab, guard is wounded)
"I've come in to get my badge of the day. I don't usually play platformers, so I bet this one will be as bad as the others. I'll just get my badge and lea-"
Wait, what? Is that a cowboy cactus?
...
5/5
Snipers are OP. The sniper that can insta-kill can be quickscoped by a good player and he can use hte knife to improve speed when not quickscoping or sniping. It's better than the AK in skilled hands.
HEY I JUST MET YOU
AND THIS IS CRAZY
but here's my ancestral sword that is very precious and has been passed down to me from my grandfather. It possesses magical powers. Have fun!
Very easy way to farm money-tickle the buddy until he gets so much happiness that he gives you money. By then you should have lots of cash. Use it to buy explode at mouse. Explode at mouse gives the best money in the game. flamethrower and molotovs are also good.
*enters game* Wow, this game is cool. Hmm. Okay, so I pick up the knife, put it in my inventory. Right, let's go out the doHOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT THING
A fine FPS, and free to play too! Good graphics and gameplay. Not too laggy, and the weapons are pretty balanced. Overall, 5/5. Excellent game indeed...
A tip on Conquer mode:Don't go all out and attack enemies immediately! Focus on expanding your territories. Many players make truces with each other to prevent early fighting, which benefits nobody except the ones who sit out hte battle and then gobble up the weakened fighters.
Some historians speculate that Earth had the technology to create a seventh Additional Bullet upgrade; however, it was never used in the interests of "giving the aliens a sporting chance".
 "Clout: The Game"){kind=icon}
 "Of Guards And Thieves"){kind=icon}
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 "HalfLife-V"){kind=icon}
 "Island Escape beta"){kind=icon}
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Hey look, somebody who doesn't know what P2W means! Been a while since we've had one of those.