james0t0kirk

I was raised by a pack of wild cheetahs and their sloth betheren. My mother of course was a hampster and my father smelled of elderberries. I enjoy the simple things in life like: an occaissional back shaving and an elbow massage. In my free time i watch insects mate and set fire to dead folliage. I have no other hobbies. I stay up late and put cheetos in the oven while i sit on the computer and a bask in the hot rank stench of flaming artificial cheese. My toes are made of wood and my fingernails and a lead alloy with gold flakes so don’t even try to beat my in a scratching or pinching with toes contest. DOWN WITH LAMP!