the 'alternate secret' way is this: If you get five stars in each of the first five battles, you will unlock a 'secret' battle.. if you beat this one you will get the badge as well, and it's easier than beating the boss
For people who can't get even the first badge: do your best on the first round, try to get over $70, then buy the thrust cans, open them as soon as you lift off for the next round, try to get over $145 at the end of the second round, then buy two lift cans and a skis, hit both cans when you lift off, and then skis when you're right near the water.. you should be set
Area 4 - "He comes through every obstacle in his way, only needs to go through the door to fulfill prophecy. And then... He meets this small man that introduces himself as an Architect. Architect talks for 10 minutes about things that would be spoken by someone on LSD. He uses words like ergo and concordant."
Area 5 - "The doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern."
In an attempt to get somebody real to 'solve' this, here are the hints written out:
Area 1 - "A door is a panel or barrier, usually hinged, that is used to cover an opening in a wall or partition going into a building or space. A door can be opened to give access and closed more or less securely. The term door is also applied to the opening itself, more properly known as the doorway."
Area 2 - "Two boarders enter the front door, identifying themselves as 'tired peasants' following a poorly-attended, matinee show which was 'very intimate. We had a hundred people on the stage and fifty in the audience.' Jean provides advice: 'Let's all go on relief and get it over with.'"
Area 3 - "King Louis was brought into Italy by the ambition of the Venetians, I will not blame the course taken by the king, because, wishing to get a foothold in Italy, and having no friends there — seeing rather that every door was shut to him - he was forced to accept those friendships"
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