I mean, I know what the upgrades do, but your distance is determined by the items you hit, the upgrades do very little. At least in toss the turtle you could control it a little. Plus, it's a squirrel that spouts memes. LAME.
The fact that it takes WAY too long to upgrade wouldn't be so bad if the upgrades actually DID something. That compounded with the fact that this game is based just as much on chance as it is skill just led me to stop using the upgrades altogether. I just launch, then go read wikipedia or something.
 "Sydney Shark"){kind=icon}
 "Spewer"){kind=icon}
 "Fly Squirrel Fly"){kind=icon}