thankyoubranch

one time I was at this car rally with my friend Dale. Dale was a big guy and Dale liked his beer. Dale liked to hold two beers, one in each hand, and slurp both of them down at once. Through a funnel. Made by curling a large triangular slice of pizza. Dale suffered cardiac arrest at this car rally. I spat on his face after he died because we bet on the rally and he lost.

I am NOT a law-abiding citizen. I frequently synthesize schedule I drugs in my kitchen for personal use.