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Oh I Know a story!
Once upon a time there was a planet with about 100k turtles, then every single turtle became horny for some reason and had a mass breeding frenzy (Make that next xD) so people made games out of turtle killing, and that is why his hammer and his tools are made out of Molten turtle shells.
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I literally just beat Original Mode with no upgrades except for a couple of launchers. I got a shell in an endless loop between the ceiling and a launcher, and let it run for half an hour.
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First 30 seconds, I'm like "Wait, what am I supposed to do?" 5 minutes later, I have mastered the art of killing turtles with a giant hammer and tons of illegal security systems.