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Its hard enough not knocking all of your instruments into his chest cavity let alone trying to perform a highly intricate organ transplant. It's like operating while high..... or so I am told.
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After a long five minutes of intense work I got to the heart without doing too much damage (yeah right :P). Only tool I hadn't thrown down from the table was a hammer. I GUESS THIS'LL HAVE TO DO.
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Who cut this guy open? Why didn't they get him to do the surgery? What did his shift end? Was it his last day and he just started cutting, checked his watch and said "Later bitches!" Who phoned in Dr. Oktoberfest here to replace him?! He's clearly drunk and has decided to do a heart transplant with one hand tied behind his back!
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Didn't even know what to do, which actually made things a lot more fun. But the controls are awful. Too sensitive at times, and difficult to even control. On my first try, I swung the saw around to where the blade was pointed at me, and when I tried to pick it up, I ended up cutting the hell out of my own arm. And I saw the blood meter go down, even though it's supposed to be the patient's blood, not mine.
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i tried giving him a heart transplant but all that happened was that i FREAKING TORE HIS RIBS OUT AND CUT OPEN HIS FRIGGIN LUNGS
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Step 1. Break ribs with hammer ...if you can grab the hammer. Otherwise use your bare hand and break the ribs. Step 2. Use your limp wristed arm to bat the rib fragments out of the chest. Step 3. Knock all your tools to the floor with your dead fish hand. Step 4. Try to pull out bad heart and fail. Say screw it, throw the new heart in and scoop as many ribs back in as you can. Surgery like a boss....
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I've never been so excited to picked something up correctly and never so devastated to drop a saw into someone's open chest cavity
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Yes I'll be operating on you today, oh don't worry about my hand flopping around like a dead fish. I'm sure you'll be fine.
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Poster board: Good evening ladies and gentleman, this message is here to inform you that there may be one or more objects that will be lost inside your chest/brain etc. Upon having that situation happen (unlikely) you will have to pay additional fees. Surgery to remove the objects, or if failed, appropriate amount of fund to cover the cost of the tools. Thank you for choosing this hospital.
~Yes there is no one else ;)
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"So i used blunt force trauma to Bob and then i severed his arteries and then i threw his new heart in and he survived."-------Nigel Burke
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"After I did the transplant on you, I left your old heart and some bones in there...also you may not be able to breath since I ripped your lungs out as well, and your chest will feel flat since there isn't a rib cage in there." 10/10
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I was at the height of my job in the surgery.I needed to make my job harder, since swapping a heart with some strangers was childs play.To make things interesting, I did it with one hand. Right off, I nearly tripped over the bed I was working on (Even so I was standing still) and nearly knocked out the heart monitor.With the cover off. I thought, I need to get inside this rib cage, but how? I saw a saw to the corner of my eye which I brought from the street and decided that would do the job. I reached for it, but I was angry, so I punched right threw it knocking everything behind over and sending the saw right to his ribs Got the job done!Then, some paper caught my eye, meaning I had to get it. I picked up the board with paper on and saw it had nothing on.Hmpth..I decided to throw it away, right into the person ribs, destroying it and making sure the saw cut every last peice away. I knew the man would die, so to comfort him, I picked up his new heart and threw it at him for a cushion
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Step 1. Give yourself the bird.
Step 2. Remove flap without killing patient.
Step 3. Hopelessly tug at ribcage for a bit. Move on to bone saw.
Step 4. Stick bone saw in patient's eye. Move on to hammer and reduce ribcage to bloody pulp.
Step 5. Remove lungs. Who needs lungs?
Step 6. Take a step back. Breath in deeply and look at patient.
Step 7. Panic.
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"And It Was Going So Well..." All I did was use the saw and leave it in the poor man... At Least the heart replacement was in his chest :3 I'm such a great person!
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guys i somehow threw all the organs on the floor and threw the a heart in the cavity and it said sucess. psst i dropped a saw in the cavity