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“We’ve got to come to some new ideas about life. And I’m not being facetious about abortion, it might be a real issue, it might not, it doesn’t really matter to me because what matters is if you really believe in the sanctity of life then you believe it for people of all ages. That’s what I hate about this fucking child worship syndrome going on around. “SAVE THE CHILDREN! THINK OF THE CHILDREN! THE CHILDREN!” Hey what does that mean? They reach a certain age and they’re off of your fucking “love list”? Fuck your children if that’s the way you feel and fuck you with them. You either love people in general of all ages or you shut the fuck up!

“Bill what kind of philosophy is this?”

I don’t know, man. I’m chasing this philosophy like a hound, I don’t know where it’s headed.

“WHO ARE YOU TO TELL PEOPLE WHETHER THEY SHOULD HAVE KIDS OR NOT!?! WHO ARE YOU!?!”

I’m me, it’s true, shut the fuck up. Quit thinking you’re going to fucking make the world better by bringing more little fucking cabbages to the planet. Why don’t you try loving the people that are already fucking here instead of living for a future that never fucking comes?

IT DOESN’T EXIST, IT AIN’T COMING.

THERE IS NO FUTURE. THERE’S NO SUCH THING. IT DOESN’T EXIST.

“YOU’RE OUR FUTURE! OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE!”

THERE’S NO SUCH THING, ASSHOLE, TAKE SOME MUSHROOMS AND SQUEEGEE YOUR THIRD FUCKING EYE.

“Oh my God there is ONLY this moment!”

The argument doesn’t work with me, flapjack, go back to your fucking Cracker Jack lifestyle and I’ll meet you at the evolution bell curve. I’ll be sitting there awhile, it’s sort of a “Tortoise and the Hare” story.

“Hear the crickets? That’s Bill waiting for people to catch up.”

“We think Science is gonna save us, Bill!”

Oh fuck…

Take mushrooms folks and squeegee your third fucking eye. TV has clouded it over, TV is like taking black paint to your eye.

Take mushrooms. What do you think, mushrooms are here by accident? You think it’s a fucking accident? Mushrooms grow on cow turds.

Where do you think the phrase “That’s good shit!” came from?"

- Bill Hicks