bert1432

Does anyone ever read these, probably if you’re active and they click on your profile.

I had a wonderful time playing on kong back in ‘07 when I first joined.. but people can be very hurtful, a lot of them made me feel like I was unwanted.. still kind of feel that way, but to the extent that I guess I really like this sad feeling.. I do feel unwanted everyday except from my kitties who I love so very much, if I didn’t have them I probably wouldnt still be stuck here.. I did almost end my life about a month or so ago.. if unravelling the razor blade from tape wasnt so annoyingly slow I would have done it like in the show 13 reasons why, because I feel that is the best way to do it.. although I would have to be hopped up on booze and pain meds.

When things get tough I do not want to be here.. but all in all I guess I struggle with it, like right now as I am typing this I am feeling a bit sad(not sure how to describe it) but at the same time happy?, either way I want to die but live if that makes any sense at all.. I do not know what it is that is wanting….

You know I have no clue as to why I am typing this, no one is ever going to read this, my profile is dead as is should I.. I did meet a few people on here who were great but alas they have left me, which saddens me, I do think everyday of a few of them..

Am I doing this for attention or something else? I have no clue but the more I . . . . end