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duckyrox358

Latest Activity: Played a game (Sep 2, 2020 8:31pm)

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    Nov. 17, 2009

Yes, pretend I’m in your head. Though technically, I already am, but you don’t know how I really sound. I’m in your head through the voice you read with through these words.
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.
— Albert Einstein
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Anyway, like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. Tha- that’s about it.
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There is only one god, and its name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: “Not today.”
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My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
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Haikus are easy
But they sometimes don’t make sense
Refrigerator
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One does not simply win an argument against a woman.
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. ______________________________________________________________
It’s better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
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Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
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Professionals are predictable. It’s the amateurs that are dangerous.
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The only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.
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Field experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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A real person has two reasons for doing anything… a good reason and the real reason.
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I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out it didn’t work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
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If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
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Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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Why do they call it “common sense” when it’s so rare?
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Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
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If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people in the world?
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Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
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A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
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People who think they know what they’re doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
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No shoes, No shirt, No service… So do I have to wear pants?
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The only way to get rid of corruption in high places is to get rid of high places.
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Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way. Wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
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You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
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I remember when legal used to mean lawful. Now it means some kind of loophole.
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The correct way to dispose of a new television box is to place it in your neighbor’s front lawn so you don’t get robbed.
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born fifteen minutes ago. It looks like a potato.
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Remember never to drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill it.
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There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Just pray that it isn’t a train.
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Nothing brings people closer than a common enemy.
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A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
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When people talk to God, it’s called prayer. When God talks back, it’s called schizophrenia.
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Accept risk. Accept responsibility. Put a lawyer out of business.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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The surest way to ruin a man who doesn’t know how to handle money is to give him some.
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If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
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If practice makes perfect and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
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You never learn anything by doing it right.
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War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
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If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
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If the enemy is in range, so are you.
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Never interrupt your opponents while they are making mistakes.
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It’s not that I don’t pay attention to detail. I just ignore it.
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Whoever said nothing is impossible clearly never tried slamming a revolving door.
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
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The trouble isn’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.
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A smart person knows all the rules so he can break them wisely.
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Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.
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Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who’s got the smallest.
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There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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A bargain is something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.
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The law of heredity is that all undesirable traits come from the other parent.
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Women socialize by complimenting each other, but not really meaning it. Men socialize by insulting each other, but not really meaning it.
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Everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.
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The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.
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An optimist says the cup is half full. A pessimist says the cup is half empty. An engineer says the cup is twice the size it needs to be.
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If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid.
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It’s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
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Anger breeds nothing but destruction of living things, objects and relationships. Anger is born from our frustration about things that happened or didn’t happen. When frustration sets in, stay calm and you’ll find the answers.
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The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.
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Every artist was once an amateur.
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It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
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Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.
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Be nice to people on your way up, because you will need them on your way down.
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The person who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality quite as much as the honesty. Possibly more.
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Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.
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Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
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When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.
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We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, but to create something that will.
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The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.
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In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.
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If you expect the world to be fair to you because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat it.
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If you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to build theirs.
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Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you anywhere.
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Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
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There are two different kinds of people in this world: Those who finish what they start, and
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Duck of the KDLM group.

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