eProdigy's messages

If I go with my father, satan knows how much I’ll suffer by being his emotional punching bag while he drinks the rest of his years away, plus my mother would hate me, and would not help me with any of the connections she keeps (none of them would keep in touch with my father, and this is my mother’s country. She knows how to properly deal with people without insulting them). If I go with my mother, I won’t be able to stand her constantly bringing up the past and how much she hates everything my father did and was, and my father would grow angry with me, and probably drink more than if I were to stay with him, which makes him unpredictable and a potential threat to both my mother and I. I don’t have any friends to stay with, unless I can call off this god damned party in time and maintain the relationships by myself and between them and I, separate from my parents. I also don’t have a way to make money and live on my own. Almost 18 and haven’t gotten a high school diploma, which, in this country, you need for every job, even as a ****ing table wiper at a Starbucks. I also have my parents to thank for my insecure future, but I suppose they had the best intentions in mind. Doesn’t make their decision right. They have so much faith in me that I’ll somehow start my own busniess and become successful without finishing high school or college. I could most likely do it, maybe by doing music on YouTube or something, but anything I could do from scratch requires time and stability. I don’t have enough time before my parents start living apart and I lose my stability by somehow not going with either of them. I don’t know what to do. Someone told me that it’s always darkest before the dawn. But that’s untrue if you’re buried beneath the weight of so many suffocating problems that the light doesn’t even reach you, with no way to get out. It’s like being trapped beneath a pile of corpses. My life is tumbling down all around me.

My best advice I can give you at the moment is that you.should do what’s best for you, and don’t worry about how your parents feel about it. You’re not alone and there have definitely been people who have been in a similar situation as you. You can pull through this and I know that you can! If you want to talk send me a pm and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Right now I got to get up in less than 4 hours, but I definitely want to help you as best I can.