Yllib's profile

Random quotes I make up on the spot in chat.

“That way is this. This way that. Up is left. Down is green. Orange is dog. Cat is Tootsie Roll. If any of this makes sense to you then please, seek medical help.”

“I fly in the face of danger! I laugh at sanity. I punt penguins! I am… the most random person in the world. Fear me.”

“If you only knew what lengths I went to end the Conspiracy. You are either my ally, or you have my steel buried in your chest.”

“If no one else talks in the next ten seconds this chat will self-destruct. Ha. Too late. You fail!”

“In the cupboard is your meal. If you can open it with nothing more then your wits, brains, and this key, then you… win?”

“My hare has hair. There is theirs. Here is her’s. They’ve said and we’ve said. And you think you have problems.”

“I once knew a man. Then I knew a woman. Then I knew both at once.”

“There are ants in my pants. Geese in my fleece. Dogs in my cogs. Cats in my hats. Fish who wish. A fly who likes to buy. And through all this none of this actually exists.”

“I have a hot dog. It is cold. I have gazpacho. It is warm. I found a fun game. It is boring. I broke my arm. There is no pain. What is wrong with these sentences? If you can figure it out you get… End of message.”

“I’ve eaten a green bean, a jellybean, jumping bean, chili bean, another jellybean and a bean bean. You don’t want to stand near me right now.”

“I once knew a man from Nantucket. He sold me a bucket. The end.”

“If a glomper could glomp glomps how much would a glomper glomp?”

“Ride.”

“I’m going to destroy the world one pig at a time!”

“If you were me then you wouldn’t be you anymore. If I were you then I would be you, yet I would still be me.”

“I like waffles, but I don’t like dirt. I like pink and black, but I don’t like spiders. Swords are my friends, goats are my enemies. I’ve shared, now it’s your turn.”

“I have to confess something. This confession is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Here goes. I lo- Something shiny to distract me!”

“If you can read this, then you’re on my lap… … EW!! Get the hell off!!”

“There aren’t odd questions. Just odd people asking questions.”

“In a time when man was beast, beast was best; They still couldn’t believe it wasn’t butter.”

“A chip in the hand is rather stupid since it should be in your stomach.”

“Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz here. He violated you on the inside.”

“I’m in your head, like a pile of maggots, infesting my way to your chocolaty center.”

“I will steal from all of you. But you’ll never know it. Because I’ll plant evidence that each other did it. You’ll kill each other, and I’ll have sex with your wives. Have a good day.”

“No quality can be quality because the quality is good and bad while being quality bad goodness.”

“There is no such thing as inevitability. I shall fight against destiny and make my story my own.”

“If you know…”

“If life is like a box of chocolates, then someone laced them with ipecac.”

“Release the God’s of war! Uses move that has dogs in it. Oh, I’m sorry. Did my dyslexia kill you?”

ShellShock Live Box Law.
Also known as The Ten Box Law Commandments.

Box Law 1: If you call dibs first when near your teams box, it’s your box.

Box Law 2: You cannot call dibs on an enemies box. They follow their own Box Law.

Box Law 3: If your teammate steals a box after you call dibs first you are therefore required to hit them with your own shot. Weapon does not matter.

Box Law 4: You cannot call dibs if you are too far to get to the box, in a hole, or otherwise unable to get the box on that turn.

Box Law 5: If you call dibs first but do not go and get your box on your turn, your dibs is forefit for anyone to take it or call dibs on it.

Box Law 6: If there is a close call on the dibs then outside players will say who said dibs first.

Box Law 7: In the account of tie dibs the person closest to it gets the box. No if’s ands, or’s, or butt’s about it.

Box Law 8: Dibs ARE transferable. If you call dibs but decide you don’t want it, you can let another teammate have it. Isn’t that nice of you?!

Bow Law 9: If you break dibs rule and take the box anyway, and your teammate does not shoot you for karma shot, then Box God will be angry.

Box Law 10: Box Law is absolute. Break it at your own peril. You have been warned.