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'Til Cows Tear Us Apart

Play 'Til Cows Tear Us Apart

May. 16, 2015

Rating: 1

I've yet to be able to complete the game once because eventually when a new event loads, the characters disappear leaving an empty space trucker cab and forcing a reload. Furthest I've gotten is past the Ahopaloose chief, but it's locked up as early as the 3rd event. Using Firefox, Windows 7, not seeing any other comments with this specific problem so I dunno.

Raze 3

Play Raze 3

Feb. 12, 2015

Rating: 0

Credit where credit is due, your teammates in the alien campaign no longer function like brain-dead monkeys, so it's actually playable. Kudos for that.

Valthirian Arc 2

Play Valthirian Arc 2

Feb. 09, 2014

Rating: 16

Christ, could we PLEASE have an option to turn off the auto aggro of the teammates we're not controlling? Beating Hector is an easy enough proposition in theory (attack, move away when he tosses out super AOE magic) but when your retarded AI buddies run headlong into the horrible rape radius, kinda makes the whole plan fall apart.

Road of the Dead 2

Play Road of the Dead 2

Oct. 31, 2013

Rating: 4

Another issue with the game is that by default, at least 2/3 of your (first-person) view is covered with parts of the vehicle, already a massive obstruction. Then zombies will inevitably get on your hood, covering up pretty much all of the rest of the already tiny viewpoint, making it harder to avoid obstacles/more zombies, to the point you spend the better part of your time driving nearly blind. Is a (first-person) game where you can rarely see where you're going really a good idea?

Road of the Dead 2

Play Road of the Dead 2

Oct. 31, 2013

Rating: 4

It'd be nice if my characters would quit yelling at me for driving poorly when I literally cannot control the vehicle because the game can't handle the inputs. How have we not learned what is needlessly irritating about voiced characters in video games after decades of use? Thank god for the ability to turn them off.

Monty's Moon

Play Monty's Moon

Jun. 22, 2013

Rating: 2

I really hate how the slightest bump of an obstacle completely kills my speed even with the best helmet. When going at high/max speeds it becomes almost impossible to avoid said objects because there's so little warning, so I'm doing little more than waving the mouse back and forth hoping to avoid objects. Perhaps if the perspective zoomed out as you got better upgrades, or if there were "radar" upgrades those things wouldn't be as annoying?

Vertigo: Gravity Llama

Play Vertigo: Gravity Llama

May. 26, 2013

Rating: 1

Please, if you're going to make a precision platformer, do NOT give it slippery controls and unclear hitboxes. There's a really fun gravity switching game here being marred by some poor design. Imagine if, playing Mario, you were as likely to die to a goomba as jump on its head when you hit it dead on, or if you slid off a ledge because you couldn't tell when you'd actually stop after letting off the controls. I doubt we'd still have italian plumbers starring in games these days if that were the case.

Bearbarians

Play Bearbarians

Mar. 01, 2013

Rating: 5

Great game, but having to refresh every couple battles to clear out the lag is horribly frustrating. Memory leaks are the enemy, kids!

Chronicles of Blood

Play Chronicles of Blood

Jan. 26, 2013

Rating: 4

The menus and gameplay are utterly incomprehensible. It's like all the worst game concepts purposefully mashed together into a sickening blob.

Legend of Pandora

Play Legend of Pandora

Dec. 28, 2012

Rating: 2

Man, I love a good Zelda-style game as much as anyone (like Hero's Arms or Seedling) but this is just blatant in ripping sounds and graphics from the likes of Link's Awakening/Oracle of Ages/Seasons and RPGMaker without even pretending to alter them or add any personal style. Classy.

Legacy of a Thousand Suns

Play Legacy of a Thousand Suns

Nov. 09, 2012

Rating: 6

If they wanted to give Dawn of the Dragons more badges they probably could have done so, rather than pile more on a reskin with even worse art and menu design. Is this really where this site's at, showcasing garbage like THIS?

American Racing

Play American Racing

Oct. 26, 2012

Rating: 1

The horizontal motion in these types of games always feels so unresponsive. The way the track forces you along its curves makes it extremely difficult to control your position on a turn unless you practically stop. Makes it really hard to do well on the "hit x objects" or slalom events.

Jacksmith

Play Jacksmith

Oct. 10, 2012

Rating: 15

An enjoyable twist on Flipline's other items-made-to-order games, feels more engaging with the stuff you make having an effect on the gameplay. However, it'd be real nice if the character and enemy icons were at the TOP of the screen where nothing is happening as opposed to the BOTTOM where they cover up the goodies the monsters drop. Just a thought.

Hexagon

Play Hexagon

Oct. 03, 2012

Rating: 3

The controls are way too touchy for gameplay that calls for a bit more precision. Between my triangle shooting off well past where I want it at the slightest keystroke and the seizure colors flashing it's hard to tell where I'm going to end up.

Turbo Golf

Play Turbo Golf

Jul. 29, 2012

Rating: 8

I'm finding that the stroke penalty for time is extremely unreasonable. 5 seconds per stroke, even assuming you manage to finish each course in 2 strokes (on average), eats up 90 seconds of your total time. That's not so bad for the goal of 550 seconds on course 2, but that shrivels your actual play time for course 1 to 260 seconds. That's almost a quarter of your time stolen by just playing the game. Seems a bit out of sorts, no?

Turbo Golf

Play Turbo Golf

Jul. 28, 2012

Rating: 73

Hey, thanks for deleting all the saves! I really wanted to grind through the same 2 courses even more just to get back what I'd earned.

Ultimate Assassin 3: Level Pack

Play Ultimate Assassin 3: Level Pack

Jul. 14, 2012

Rating: 10

Great, another version of luck-based mission the game, with none of the simple (let alone the larger) problems so much as given a glance. The completely randomized behavior of the guards still removes almost any skill from the game (no matter how good you are, oftentimes the guard patterns simply will not allow you to succeed). No care is given to the individual difficulty of the levels, as shown in the same copy/pasted achievements for each level as the last game (at least tweak them a bit based on playtesting). And really, it couldn't be that difficult to add a key to reset the mission when things go sideways rather than having to get shot to death, hm? As an earlier comment said, it's a level pack to a game that was essentially a level pack, no improvements, which is a shame because the base concept could be expanded on so much to make a far better game.

Achievement Unlocked 3

Play Achievement Unlocked 3

Jun. 08, 2012

Rating: 29

After a few minutes playing and switching rooms, those pop ups constantly flash on my screen saying "Not set data 0:00:00" and "400/400 achievements done" (despite not having them all yet) over and over and over no matter what I do. Kind of a shame that this game is shaping up to be so buggy.

Dawn of the Dragons

Play Dawn of the Dragons

May. 11, 2012

Rating: 89

Ah, time to play Dawn of the Dragons. Wonder if I'll be able to level up soon." *clicks attack 10 times, 20 seconds later* "Oh...I'm out of energy. That didn't last very long. How long do I have to wait for full energy again?" *20 x ~2min* "Okay. I can play another 20 seconds...in 40 minutes.

Pretentious Game

Play Pretentious Game

Apr. 27, 2012

Rating: 1

So pretentious that I had to put on my scarf and thick black-rimmed glasses and go to the coffee shop to play this on my iPad, but only for irony's sake of course. (But seriously, simple and fun game taking the piss out of this type of game. Great job!)

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