Even in actionscript it is easy. Import your sounds and set em off on a timer. You already got one clip on death. You could have him say knife on touching a power p.. tic tac. You can even use more than one sound and randomly play through them. Want the script written up in a different language? Perl, Ruby, Unity, php, java. Pick. Take the criticism and stop assuming every user without an uploaded game is an idiot. I'd rather have none than this embarrassment. Check out Weebl's pacman game. It is everything this should be.
Yes, because obvously it very easy to turn orange in to an AI that invents and says appropriate comments. Of course, you would know because you have designed loads of games {Loud Cough}
Its PONG after you've abused your atari and lost a controller. Also, it appears to be missing a dimension. Maybe it is off screen like the ball that flew the coop and is never coming back.
Hate this game. When all of my high scores are from me just mashing the esc key rather than actually trying it skillfully, you know something is amiss.
So I spend 5 minutes waiting for it to contact server to get to a title screen. I hit quick play and wait another 10 minutes "logging in". Chance for 20K in gas isn't worth it.
You know, if the caves reset themselves on a 72 hour timer, this game wouldn't be half bad. People would still buy additional items, but it won't feel closed off to those that don't/can't pay.
Ok, bugs that sting you, making you 100% of the time lose a turn, is just plain unfair. It is bad enough you have 100HP and med kits cost a turn when most later enemies do 30+ damage. Balance issues are abundant. It soon all comes down to luck.
 "Bart Boarding"){kind=icon}
 "Fly Boom Fly"){kind=icon}
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 "Poker with Maria"){kind=icon}
 "Impossible Ninja II"){kind=icon}
 "Cardboard Box Assembler"){kind=icon}
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 "Little Cave Hero"){kind=icon}
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 "Async Racing"){kind=icon}
 "Alice is Dead Episode 3"){kind=icon}
 "Alice is Dead - Ep 1"){kind=icon}
 "Tanooky Tracks"){kind=icon}
 "CycloManiacs"){kind=icon}
 "Toxers"){kind=icon}
 "Mechanical Commando 2"){kind=icon}
Yes, because obvously it very easy to turn orange in to an AI that invents and says appropriate comments. Of course, you would know because you have designed loads of games {Loud Cough}