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I survived explosions, mutilation, setting myself on fire, getting punched by God, bit by snakes, hit by an anvil and even atomic-body slammed.
Papercuts, not even once.
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With 0.06 seconds left, stan managed to commit suicide with a paper shredder. I don't see the logic, it would be much less painful to jump out a window. (But a lot less fun, too! :D)