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Reading trough the comments I found a lot of hate for this game including a coment saying the money symbol i from pokemom i'm just like wow have you never heard of pounds you know British currency.
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I thought Pseudolonewolf would tackle Kongregate's history by making the best RPG series that this site has ever known, Mardek RPG. Of course, I was wrong, Clarence's Big Chance just gave him the platformer crown, too. Amazing game, and, as always, great work. Needless to say, 5/5.
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"You found your father's secret whore room!" Any reasonable person would not be leaving the house after that. But then again, a reasonable man would not have murdered his mother, father, dog, cat, police officers and then proceeded to eat their hearts.
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Pseudo, I love that you made a game about a fat, virginal, middle-aged man who lives with his mother and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And he's not American.
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I think any relationship Clarence enters into will take a turn for the worse when she finds out he eats the hearts of small animals, people, and appliances.
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some tips for the hard badge :
1) do NOT eat the burger on the first level.
2)You need 2750 of the 2800 coins to win the girl at the end.
3)once you get all of the tips and chat advises , take a pic/screenshot of them because when you are in the date you can't open the menu .
Hope this helps a little !
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just thinking of the shear amount of time that had to have been put into the making of this, game it's hard to give it anything below a 3, and the game itself was great, so it's a clear 5. The plot was funny, the game play was entertaining, one of the better games on this site.
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Great game. Only three things to mention for new people: 1. Need to avoid the hamburger in the kitchen, as it will overstuff you and make you sick. 2. Write down the 16 tips before entering the restaurant, because you will not be able to view them during the date. 3. Some parts of the game are not suitable for children due to references to sex, language, and the explicit mention of eating hearts from creatures, including your Dad and Mom.
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To haters: This game is not "too long" you are just impatient, go play something else if you only want to play for five minutes. This game is not "stolen" or a "rip off" it is inspired by SNES games. If you still thinks that this means its a rip off then go make a game that has absolutely no influences on it from anything. This game is not "too hard" this is not YouTube. Games require that you pass challenges not that you press a few buttons and you're done. If you cannot handle the challenge go play a dress up game.
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I must say I'm sort of surprised by people calling this game 'too long'; I worry about the length of the games that I make and wondered whether this one would be too short, actually. You see, I prefer and am used to console games; I barely ever play Flash games (despite using Flash to make my own). As such, I want games to last several hours at least, not a few minutes. I'd want them to entertain me for days, not to finish them perfectly in a lunch break...
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"Clarence, m'dear, I think it's time you went to see a doctor. All the running and jumping you do just to get ready for work in the mornings should be doing wonders for your weight. I think you may have a thyroid problem. Love, Mum. PS- Don't forget to rate this game a 5/5 before you go."
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i just realized that the whole game is like this. this is hilarious. the message are demotivational, the animals and inanimate objects are evil, and the whole concept is pretty funny too. i wonder, though, how Clarence can stand on lamps and jump about 20 feet on beds when, proportionally, he weighs about 250-300 lbs. just saying.
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"She dislikes the internet and doesn't use it." ... Wait, we met on a dating site ONLINE and she made an online profile...
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So I WASN'T supposed to take the shiny, glowing and bouncing burger right above me? Oh come on, at least put it in a room AFTER the sign, not in the same one.
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Well...there it is. It's 1:53 am and I just got ending #5. The amount of work that went into this is stunning. It's just a MASSIVE game. One of the biggest Flash games Ive played (Non RPG). It's also some of the most work I've ever put into the game myself. I only missed 25 coins in the entire thing..so that's somewhere around 2800. Every tip, every piece of advice, EVERYTHING. So, yea. Plan to put a hell of a lot of time and effort in if you want the hard badge. Amazing game overall.
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"After a string of horrific murders were discovered today, the culprit was discovered on a date in a local restaurant. Upon searching the man's house, the bodies of his parents were found crushed, and their hearts devoured. Unfortunately, as all the police in the town were also murdered in the same fashion, no arrest was made."
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Found my dad, killed him, then ate his heart. Found my mom, killed her, ate her heart. What kind of sick world is this coming to?
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This has to be the best flashgame ever. I thought the idea was meh at first, but the execution is so excellent it's hard to believe. It's really a full game, much much bigger than I would have expected. So much variety, lots of puns, self-irony, originality (the computer levels are absolute genius,) and a difficulty level that feels just right. Props also for the dialogue, that must have taken endless hours to come with lines and lines and lines of truly original and genuinely funny utterances.
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Devouring the heart of a rubber ducky, breathing indefinitely underwater, immune to bullets if hit. Clarence is like a superhero. A fat ugly one.
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You stumble upon your father, who has drunk himself into a stupor having realized that you in are in fact his son, and not just some very bad acid trip. In a fit of confused drunken rage, he starts throwing mugs full of beer at you, while sitting in his chair, flouting the laws of human anatomy in the process. The game suggests that you leap onto his head crushing his skull, and ending his life. In an act of horrifyingly cruel patricide, you do just that, murdering the man who helped create you. Not only that, you rip out his still beating heart, and devour it, in some gruesome pagan ritual. Enjoy living with yourself, knowing that you slaughtered your own father in cold blood. And ate his heart.
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The worst ending is so totally completely worth it! LMAO I did NOT see that coming! Make sure you try to get it, everyone :D
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Lol the laptops that show her personality are on a site called 'visagetome.com', which means facebook :P
Man I love Pseudolonewolf's work :D
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This is a very expansive and fun platform game. You obviously put a lot of work on the level design as well as the graphics and story. It's a very humorous game and I think it could use a very expansive sequel for hours of fun. Keep up the good work! 5/5