Only in a nightmare could you gracefully triple-jump through the air to grab a flying gold coin, only to be spiked back to the ground by a flaming skull, trip over a giant toadstool, and get nudged to death by a fluffy bunny rabbit hiding behind a tree.
BotD didn't work. Kongpanion wasn't awarded. Sent a missing badge complaint via the help desk, and got hit with a 504 error for my trouble. And I suspect that in half an hour, today's debacle's going to repeat itself all over again before they've even fixed the initial error.
I wonder, are the site admins *completely* incompetent, or just *mostly* incompetent? Site lag my ass, this is a system failure worthy of a blue-screen.
I sacrificed much-needed sleep to be on here right when the new Kongpanion dropped, and now I find out the entire site's bugged out on me. Christ, what a pain...
I always thought I was the only person who actually did the chess puzzles tucked next to the crosswords in newspapers -- but it feels like this game was made by someone who enjoys the tactical, methodical nature of chess. It's been too long since I played a puzzle game that I could really sit and ponder over before making my next move.
The cornerstone of any good puzzle game, including puzzle platformers, is that the biggest hindrance to solving the puzzle is your own assumptions about what the solution is -- for example, assuming that you need to land on a given platform, when you're supposed to jump over it instead. There were a few times where that aspect tripped me up, but as frustrating as those moments feel, there's no denying that the game's puzzles were designed well if they could trick me like that. Nice work.
You've heard of the phrase 'better than the sum of its parts'? Well, apparently smashing a ragdoll physics game together with a poorly-designed bullet-hell shooter creates an exception to that rule -- it's not as fun as the former, and not as tightly-designed as the latter.
This game is an endurance test, something to be tolerated until you get the Badge and then never played again.
The fact that you can get through the entire game without seeing over 90% of the dialogue just goes to show how much writing they packed into this game. Not sure if that's a mark in favor of the game or against it, but I do have to admire the dedication if nothing else.
Brickout-style ball-and-paddle minigames really aren't designed for trackpad laptops. At least the ball isn't constantly accelerating like it did in the first M&TK game -- that one little twist made it almost unbeatable for me.
Didn't this game use to be on Armor Games? I put in a ton of hours progressing through the story a few years ago, but there's no save data on the Kongregate servers, and there's no version up on AG that I can find.
The number of times I get my hat to connect at the exact instant that a guard turns around... seriously, there needs to be a delay between when a guard spots you and when you get killed -- nobody's trigger finger is *that* fast. I also second the demands for challenge stage checkpoints. I don't care about the timer, nor do I think does anyone else -- dumping us back at the start the instant our timing wasn't absolutely perfect is just insulting.
Is the Call to Love spell supposed to scale its Heart production over time? It bumped up from 1 to 2 per second after somewhere between 3 and 6 hours, I think -- but it's stayed at 2 even though the spell's been running for two days and change now. Either it's bugging out on me, or the event challenge is designed to be impossible to complete without forking out a small fortune in Rubies.
Even on the lowest available settings, the game hangs every time I press any of the arrow keys, making midair steering impossible -- by the time the game registers the keystrokes, I'm back on the ground. The only way to progress at all is to put on a Quick Play round, right-click to keep the Flash Player from lagging, and let the game play itself until it needs me to decide which upgrades to pick.
Update? I think you guys needed to rethink the whole affair -- maybe starting with a button to mute that godawful techno music?
Stupidly sluggish movement controls, poorly thought-out mechanics, no means of improving the character's abilities between failed attempts (attempts capped off by an unskippable, unmuteable jump scare, just for the added feeling of the developers laughing at you), and a selection of guns whose bullets don't actually travel in a ballistic arc between where the gun is and where you're aiming. And the real joke of it is, there's about a million different run-and-gun zombie games out there to copy, and these jokers *still* managed to screw it up!
LongAnimals, it seems, is short on skill. 1 star.
How is it that a game whose art style is little more than glorified crayon drawings have such an unforgivable amount of lag? I'm running this blasted thing on an Inspiron 14 with nVidia GEForce and an Intel i7 processor, and every time I step out of the door on the *first bleeding level*, I clip straight through the ground, fall off the bottom of the screen and lose a life -- either the guy in charge of optimizing this train wreck needed a few more slaps, or the speed of light has gotten as sick of Mr. Fancy Pants and his asinine adventures as I have.
Would be nice to have actual offline production, rather than just a measly boost to online production -- not all of us have the luxury of leaving the game open on its own tab all the time, and if the game's already tracking how much time we're not playing it for the bonus, it'd be more expedient to simply give us the amount of money and research points we'd normally earn in the same amount of time.
I have to wonder what halfwit thought that a level with both precise platforming *and* unforgivable amounts of lag *wouldn't* drive players up the wall. Seriously, did they not playtest this? Between the lag level, the absence of a reset option and the omission of a freaking *mute* button, this game's chock-full of amateur-level mistakes.
Now, where's the gold deposit on this plot I just shelled out $2000 for?
Oh, there it is -- right in the middle of a grove of trees. How convenient that the surveyor's office didn't mention that as I was forking over all my money.
 "Fear Less!"){kind=icon}
 "Pirate Defense"){kind=icon}
 "Globetrotter XL"){kind=icon}
 "Knight-errant"){kind=icon}
 "Unnamed Chick Game"){kind=icon}
 "Ragdoll Invaders"){kind=icon}
 "Adventure Boy Cheapskate"){kind=icon}
 "The Love Letter"){kind=icon}
 "Me And The Key 2"){kind=icon}
 "me and the key"){kind=icon}
 "Dawn of the Dragons"){kind=icon}
 "Hat Wizard"){kind=icon}
 "Realm Grinder"){kind=icon}
 "IndestructoTank! AE"){kind=icon}
 "Zomgies 2"){kind=icon}
 "Fancy Pants Adventure: World 3"){kind=icon}
 "Reactor idle"){kind=icon}
 "SHIFT 2"){kind=icon}
 "Boom Town"){kind=icon}