Oh man, I was kind of hoping this wouldn't get badges. Some of the challenges are such crap I just want to spit. I don't think it's a BAD game, per se. The graphics and the engine are pretty tight. It's just that progression through the game requires too many things that aren't actually racing. I mean, really, the way you earn money is completely decoupled from race performance. In fact, if you race well, you'll never earn any money at all, since it's all located off road and in inconvenient locations. Then those challenges. Don't hit ANYTHING? All you can do is trail behind all the other cars and hope they clear a decent path for you.
It's a fun if somewhat headache-inducing puzzle game, but the plot isn't realistic AT ALL. I mean, anyone who would install Linux to their cell phone pretty much drops out of the running for accomplishing anything worthwhile in life.
Needs save badly. BADLY. In general I think that the type of game you're going for would work better as a top-down than a side-scroller. It would make the game more strategic, and make it harder to find a cheap automatic win strategy.
For the stuck: You can spend an awfully long time with 1 hit point. Your best bet is to stock up on healing items and only use them when you're sure there's ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to progress without getting injured.
Hmm, achievements are kind of boring if you're not even going to tell me how I earned them AFTER the fact. Oh hey, I won the Sir Bumpalot's Left Nutalot achievement! I wonder what the hell I did? This is almost as exciting as the time that banner ad told me I was the 89,305th visitor and I had won an iPod!
Hmm, I'm hearing two schools of opinion about the controls. (1) The controls are crappy and unresponsive, making the game so hard it isn't even fun. (2) Nuh-UH. The controls have a trick to them which, once mastered, allows you to pull off cheap combo after cheap combo, making the game so easy it isn't even fun. Now THAT is what I call a learning curve!
In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.’ --Genesis 4:3-7. See? Replace "Cain" with "AdultSwimGames" and "fruit of the ground" with "Bible Fight" and you've pretty much got what's going on here.
I guess that's the problem I have, in the end: not that this game is sacrilegious, but that Kongregate had to make a big brouhaha about it, which it doesn't deserve on the basis of content OR gameplay. In a week the challenge will be over, and aside from a couple of icons on the badge list this game will fall off everyone's radar as the forgettable crap that it is. That thought makes me feel better.
Hey Serrubukkake, I've decided to make a game where the player's objective is to raise five dollars so he can afford a blowjob from your mom. It's based on my real-life adventures last night. But don't, like, get offended or anything because it's only a game.
To be honest, I enjoy satire. Don't get me wrong. I'm well aware that many of my fellow Christians need to be taught a little humility, especially since so many like to thump their Bibles in exactly the wrong time and place, and in direct defiance of the core values of the faith. But this...this is just "Piss Christ" in video game format. It's being "edgy" for the sake of being "edgy." I imagine the only reason the game creators didn't just draw dicks on biblical characters is because then people really WOULD get offended (at the dicks, not at the fact that they were on biblical characters).
Oh yeah, plus it's just a horrible, virtually unplayable game. Has that been mentioned?
Ugh, why am I doing this? If you'll read a couple of lines below the line you cited, you might notice that I did fully acknowledge that religion is a choice, and that that was in fact the reason usually given for why it's okay to shit on the deeply held beliefs of 1/3 of the world's population. I also tend to think that arguing on the internet decreases one's IQ. If you don't believe me, look at the people who spend inordinate amounts of time arguing on the internet. If you STILL don't believe me, I'll leave you with a stereotypical religious debate retort: Prove that it doesn't.
And since intolerance has come up, let me say a quick word about intolerance. A lot of you athiests accuse religious people (well, usually you accuse Christians specifically) of being intolerant. You also think that they're all stupid and ignorant and unworthy of even the slightest shred of respect for their beliefs or even themselves as people. I'm pretty sure that's the very essence of bigotry. And yet you accuse US of being hypocrites?). Quit being the pot that calls the kettle black. Or, if you're of a slightly more RELIGIOUS bent, read Matthew 7:3.
But that's it. Much as I hate to ignore this, I will from this point on, since the alternative is arguing on the internet and I'd like to conserve my IQ points for something more important. Flag this comment, ignore it, whatever, I don't care. Quite frankly, I doubt this comment will so much as give anyone pause for thought; I'm just pissed and this is how I've decided to vent. Peace out.
Ugh, one last piece (or pieces, since God knows why but I decided to write an essay). I'm sure I'll be the only one to read my own comment before it vanishes to the second page but here it is.
This game is disrespectful, plain and simple. Yes, it's just a silly game on a silly game site. Yes, people will ALWAYS overreact to the material because such is the nature of this can of worms, and you know what to expect when you open it. But that's also a pretty sad reason to have to shut up and put up with what boils down to hate propaganda, silly and satirical though it may be.
It's just as bad as if you made a game like "Jim Crowe's Tournament of Porch Monkeys" or "Fag Fighters: The Revenge of Elton John." But it's religion and it's subjective and people choose their religion and the internet is full of butt-hurt 13-year-olds who hate their parents for making them go to church to they're RELIGION RAWR every chance they get. So I guess that makes it ok, right?
 "The Great Sperm Race"){kind=icon}
 "Monsters' Den"){kind=icon}
 "Drift Runners"){kind=icon}
 "Exploit"){kind=icon}
 "Blackboard Squash"){kind=icon}
 "Days 2 Die"){kind=icon}
 "Bloody Fun Day"){kind=icon}
 "Knightfall"){kind=icon}
 "Bible Fight"){kind=icon}
 "Jigsaw Deluxe"){kind=icon}