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Save To Kill

Play Save To Kill

Aug. 20, 2017

Rating: 2

Well, at first, I was super-impressed by this game. But then you did what every other "bullet hell" game developer does: Included a homing projectile that is absolute effing crap. I speak, of course, of those giant green plasmid-things that break apart and fly at you faster than every other enemy or projectile in the game combined. That absolutely BROKE what could otherwise have been a contender for Best of 2017, and whoever looked at that and thought "Yeah, let's put that in the game!" should be eternally ashamed of himself.

Slayaway Camp

Play Slayaway Camp

Aug. 20, 2017

Rating: 0

Two problems with the cats: #1: If I'm supposed to keep them alive, and the rationale is "The killer likes cats," why does s/he perform an elaborate kill animation if he runs into them? And #2: Have these guys never seen a horror movie? The family pet is ALWAYS the killer's first victim.

Developer response from bluewizardgames

Skullface likes cats and murder...its a toss up which he likes more.

ZS Dead Detective - Walls can Bleed

Play ZS Dead Detective - Walls can Bleed

Jul. 30, 2017

Rating: 3

Am I crazy, or does the game only acknowledge two clues as related if you click them in a certain order? Because I'd swear I tried combining the window and the visibility clue several times before it finally acknowledged them as related.

Developer response from Lu_Muja

It shouldn't work like that... As a matter of fact, I've just tried combining the clues you mentioned and it works regardless of the order. Maybe you got a little confused..? I can see why that could happen, the 'drawings' on the notebook are no museum material :D But if you keep encountering this issue, please let me know with a PM

We Become What We Behold

Play We Become What We Behold

Jul. 16, 2017

Rating: -21

"GIVE THE AUDIENCE WHAT THEY WANT! GIVE THE AUDIENCE WHAT THEY WANT! GIVE THE AUDIENCE WHAT THEY WANT! GIVE THE AUDIENCE WHAT I -- er, I mean -- THE AUDIENCE WHAT THEY WANT!" Yeah, screw you game. You remind me of the Joker in the Dark Knight: A miserable little turd screaming for your narcissistic hatred to be validated by the rest of us, but who has been mistaken for somehow being cool and poetic in the process.

We Become What We Behold

Play We Become What We Behold

Jul. 16, 2017

Rating: -23

Nutcasenightmare: "We become what we behold!" Me: (beholds circles and squares getting along) Nutcasenightmare: "BORING!" Me: (beholds peace activists) Nutcasenightmare: "HA! LOSERS!" Me: (beholds peace activists giving love to the savage square) Nutcasenightmare: "STOP IT! SHOW ME HATE! SHOW ME BLOOD!" Me: "This game proves the ultimate rebuttal to its own message. We do NOT become what we behold. We behold what we are." And with this game, Nutcasenightmare has just outed himself as a truly wretched excuse for a human being. The only reason this made Kongregate's best of 2016 is because it only had one badge that is impossible to NOT acquire. Shame on all of you for enabling this miserable troll.

Hippolyta

Play Hippolyta

Jul. 16, 2017

Rating: -6

"Wait, that's not what happened. No, that's not how the story goes. I don't think the story ends like this." Correct. It ended when the player realized the description of this game was a bald-faced lie, that the challenge is not from reflexes, but half from the crappy artwork that blends half the obstacles in with the background and half from the game just STRAIGHT UP NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO PLAY THE GAME, after which he told Evil-Dog to shove this game up his posterior and bemoaned the fact that Kongregate will not allow him to give a 0/5 rating.

Rogue Fable II

Play Rogue Fable II

Jul. 16, 2017

Rating: -18

I was wrong. This game COULD get worse. IT FREAKIN' FROZE!!! I already thought this was a 0/5 game, but then I had to start over, not because the game suddenly screwed me over by dropping me into the middle of a swarm on the next level, but because it freakin' froze and wouldn't respond to anything. This is truly the most epic turd Kongregate has ever slapped a badge on, and they should be damn ashamed of themselves for it.

Rogue Fable II

Play Rogue Fable II

Jul. 12, 2017

Rating: -2

Dumbest way I died: Spawning in a new game surrounded by rats and getting swarmed in only three turns. Any game that is so half-assed in its assembly for something like THAT to be possible has no excuse whatsoever. I wish I could give you a 0/5 for this.

Rogue Soul 2

Play Rogue Soul 2

Jul. 10, 2017

Rating: 6

"Congratulations! You just completed 100% of the game. You are totally insane!" Yes. Yes I am. ^_^x100

Rogue Soul 2

Play Rogue Soul 2

Jul. 07, 2017

Rating: 5

I hereby award this game the recognition of "Hardest game with the easiest easy badge." Seriously, I pity anyone who hadn't played the original Rogue Soul and thought that medium badge would simply take longer to unlock.

Burrito Bison: Launcha Libre

Play Burrito Bison: Launcha Libre

Jun. 25, 2017

Rating: 12

Microtransactions? In-game adds? "Premium" offers? And in-game power-ups. . . that UNLOCK THE IN-GAME ADDS?!! You are dead to me Burrito Bison.

Starlight 2

Play Starlight 2

Jun. 18, 2017

Rating: 6

It's not a bad game, but it's not a good sign when the only time I get frustrated with it is when I know exactly what the puzzle solution is but it's not counting it as complete because my position is off by half a centimeter. That's its only one real flaw, but it's a pretty difficult one to ignore.

String Theory 2

Play String Theory 2

Jun. 17, 2017

Rating: -5

OH! YAY! PHYSICS PUZZLES THAT RELY ON TIMING! AND STUPID DRAGGING MECHANICS THAT REFUSE TO GO ANY FAST ENOUGH TO BEAT THE PROVERBIAL TIMER! HOT DOG! I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THIS GAME! Seriously, nobody likes having to feel like they're running around frantically trying to get things done in time while playing a PUZZLE game, and yet, for some reason, you idiot puzzle game creators always insist on making them do so. I'm freakin' sick of it -- shove that "medium" badge back where this game came from.

Pandemic 2

Play Pandemic 2

Jun. 14, 2017

Rating: 8

GAME: "Name your disease." ME: "Donald J. Trump." GAME: "Disease spotted in Russia." ME: ". . . . .BWAAAAAA-HYA-HYA-HYA-HYAAAAH!!!"

Jacksmith

Play Jacksmith

May. 24, 2017

Rating: 8

Sorry Jack, but that reaction was completely unwarranted. Sure, she's not a looker, but the only one in this entire game more attractive than her in any way was that cute little wizard your mercs just beat the stuffing out of.

yellow

Play yellow

May. 18, 2017

Rating: -1

Help bubble popping up so soon in levels that were easy but simply took time and/or patience to complete felt a little insulting at times. Other than that, this was a nice game.

SUPERHOTline Miami Deluxe

Play SUPERHOTline Miami Deluxe

May. 16, 2017

Rating: -1

Two go together like crap, actually. But at least you were polite enough to keep it short.

Jacksmith

Play Jacksmith

May. 08, 2017

Rating: -11

Congratulations. You just took a video game genre that usually translates into easy reliable fun and turned it into something overly complicated, time-consuming, and all-around boring. You must be very proud of yourselves.

Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 3

Play Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 3

May. 08, 2017

Rating: 13

"Got lag? Download!" Why, because an option to change the resolution was too freakin' complicated for you? Get bent. 1/5 for pure laziness.

AntiVillain (-OneShot-)

Play AntiVillain (-OneShot-)

May. 01, 2017

Rating: -1

Hit "Tech" during the tutorial battle and got taken to a blank menu it wouldn't let me get out of. To which I say "Wow. That sets a new standard for lazy ass suckage." As I expected. 1/5.

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