Only took me half the tutorial to realize Armor Games has produced yet another festering turd of a game. Controls are crap and the game mechanics couldn't possibly be any more confusing if they tried. For the love of God Kongregate, stop humoring these pricks by hosting their games. They aren't even worth the bandwidth they're taking up.
This game is atrocious, and for reasons that are all completely inexcusable to have overlooked. Upgrading is unforgivable -- unless you are beating a level for the first time, it will give you next to nothing for upgrades, and also refuses to carry over your spent upgrades into the next temple. Your avatar moves less like a snake and more like a guy dragging around a sock full of lead, ensuring that you will get hit far more often than you should. And the "harder" difficulties are needlessly unforgiving, not just by giving you a short time limit, but by having your hits ALSO incur time deductions. Which would be a blatant enough "F.U." to the player even if the game didn't have an overbearing "Confucius" theme with quotes about patience and nonviolence strewn throughout it. I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only intent in this game was to piss off everyone who plays it. And shame the bloody hell on Kongregate for agreeing to host such a travesty.
I doubt Confucius would have approved of having his name and teachings slapped all over this game the way you did. It's pointlessly frustrating and tedious to have to start over with a "new avatar" at every temple even though they all look and play exactly alike, and all that wonderful stuff about patience and calming goes right out the window when you add an unforgiving timer to the level. It's almost like you deliberately made this game as incompatible with its theme as possible.
So, a funny thing happened. I'm building up my tower, I've got it pretty well planned and it's not swaying even slightly. Then I place one block down ON THE RIGHT and it suddenly starts leaning WAY FAR TO THE LEFT. Which tells me one thing and one thing only: This game doesn't have an actual physics engine. It's just programmed to start swaying erratically once we reach a certain height and/or block count. To which I say: Screw this game and screw everyone who had a hand in making it.
This is the version of Tetris they let you play in Hell. No matter how tightly you lock the tower together, it will still sway, and if the pieces so much as even scrape together, it counts as dropped and falls. It's like the person who made this game was just mad at the world and wanted to piss off as many people as possible.
If I had a nickle every time during Lv. 9 that I said under my breath "Just leave the bitch to die," I could hire John Pinette to hunt down the prick who made that level and sit on him.
Wadolf is officially the cheapest boss in any Kongregate game ever. And yet, knowing that this whole game is basically nothing but Tom Fulp throwing a massive tantrum at all the people he hates, that only makes me want to hunt down the real Wadolf and shake his hand. Because if Fulp has this much hatred for him and can't handle it any way except to make him the final boss in this absolute turd of a game, whatever he did to get under Fulp's skin must have been downright awesome.
I still don't understand why anyone out there is seeing this game as anything other than a dumb manchild raging at everyone that ever called him out on anything ever. This game is flaming awful in every sense of the word.
This game is apparently a deliberately effort on the part of notdoppler to make the game it's ripping off look good by comparison. The controls suck, the graphics look cut-and-paste, and the tracks play like they were designed to troll the players. What an absolute crap effort from a name I can't believe I used to trust.
Oh hurray, another shameless cash-grab game where the developers couldn't even be bloody bothered to make sure it all fits on the screen. Screw you Kongregate. Stop hosting these shameless sh*t games.
This game truly is crap. I keep giving it more chances, and every single time, I regret it. This last time was from a "horde spotted" warning that literally came right as it was on my doorstop and resulted in half my squares being lost and a quarter of the survivors. The levels are not very easy, normal, hard, harder and impossible. They are hard, harder, bulls***, total bulls***, and total f***ing bulls***. And I say that, not because the games are difficult, but because the "difficulty" comes, 90% of the time, from the game pulling something right the hell out of nowhere that suddenly makes your game (which you can't reload) completely unsalvageable. Bravo.
Like most "shooters," especially those produced by Armor Games, this game inevitably tries to compensate for the fact that is insultingly simplistic with cheap artificial difficulty. And in this case, it resorts to the cheapest tactic of all: Throwing multiple waves of homing enemies at you, absolutely guaranteeing that you have no way to evade them all. It is insulting for Armor Games, a title that has slapped its label on so many games and has been putting them out for so long to continue to resort to such blatant B.S. over and over again. Stop giving them your webspace Kongregate! They're trolling you!
That's it. It's official. Armor Games is trolling us. This game has a ton of problems, but Morrigan playing the same laugh clip with every single attack was a dead giveaway. Right back at you Armor Games.
I regret any kind word I might have had about these games. You will never know just how catastrophically flawed they are until you try them at the higher levels. That's when it really becomes 100% luck. If you do not start off right next to a hospital and claim it ASAP, someone will die; it has never failed to randomly kill someone off on me within the first seven turns unless I managed to get a hospital before then. And when you see those percentages that indicate the likeliness of someone dying, add a zero to the end of it to get the real number; the computer will ALWAYS kill someone if it's 5% or higher. I get that it's supposed to be the "Harder" difficulty, but 90% of that harder difficulty is artificial -- it's the computer randomly jumping in and crippling you instead of giving you an actual challenge. Please, for the love of God, don't ever let there be a Rebuild 3.
I was wrong. This game isn't 10% randomization, 90% B.S. It's 100% B.S. I don't know what ****-load-of-*** algorithm you're using on this festering turd of a game, but my one and only builder up and died right in the middle of reclaiming the hospital four times reloaded in a row. Which means I had no way of knowing that was going to happen, and now no way of preventing it either. Way to go ****! "Best of 2011" my ass.
Ah yes, who doesn't love a game where it's possible to lose on your second turn? This is why I absolutely fecking hate turn-based "dice" games. Inevitably, they all end up boiling down to 10% randomization and 90% bulls**t.
 "Bearbarians"){kind=icon}
 "Shadow Snake 3"){kind=icon}
 "99 Bricks"){kind=icon}
 "Creeper World 2: Academy"){kind=icon}
 "Portal Defenders"){kind=icon}
 "Renegade Racing"){kind=icon}
 "King's Bounty: Legions"){kind=icon}
 "Rebuild"){kind=icon}
 "Hanna in a Choppa 2"){kind=icon}
 "Band Of Heroes"){kind=icon}
 "Rebuild 2"){kind=icon}
 "Beloved"){kind=tracking}
Haha, it was a little on-the-nose, wasn't it? ;) Whatever, it's Valentine's Day - goddamn hearts ER'RYWHERE!