Game crashed at Lv. 7. My character disappeared from the screen, his health drained all the way down to nothing in less than a second, the screen went black, and it never returned. This game is BEYOND crap. This game is broken and unplayable.
I wonder how much more enjoyable this game would be if Snail Games actually gave half a crap about it. So far I'm averaging a disconnection once every three minutes, and no, I DON'T have this problem anywhere else on Kongregate. This is absolutely deplorable. This looks like it should be a really cool game, but it's so full of glitches, bugs and crap settings that are almost enough to make the game completely unplayable. It's no wonder this game has one of the least-acquired easy badges on Kongregate; the game we are seeing is a broken shell of its true self.
Hit a glitch at Lv. 7 that made two blocks get stuck into each other (no, literally, as in the graphics overlapped and they refused to be moved) that made the game unplayable. Give the beta testers my best regards ya' pricks.
This is almost as bad as the "only level" games. The only real saving grace of it is that Kongregate was lenient with the badges, so it's possible to be done with this game in five minutes. It doesn't mean it's not a P.O.S. -- it's just not a complete waste of time on top of that.
Input sucks, controls suck, concept sucks, everything about this game bloody sucks. This is just a 2-D sidescroller with the controls locked to make it suck harder. I refuse to believe that the same people who made some of the best games Kongregate has to offer were willing to slap the notdoppler logo on this festering turd of a game.
I don't think this game would be nearly as infuriating to play if A) speed were not so crucial, B) almost everything in the game can cut your speed, and C) there are almost no ways at all to gain that speed back. On top of that, this game suffers the same flaw as all of the ones you shamelessly ripped off to make it; the speed (which is so critical) and close camera shot prohibits you from seeing what you are going to hit until a split-second before you hit it; you apparently prioritized the game's cosmetics over its actual gameplay. There are plenty of games like this on Kongregate that are so much better. For shame notdoppler, for shame.
That hard badge needs to be an impossible badge. The expectations of the gamer are ridiculously high by default -- throw in crappy controls and even crappier aim and this game is MURDER to play. The only saving grace is that the missions are kind of cushy, so even with the utter crap controls and the completely unreliable aim, they are still doable. It doesn't make this game any less a piece of crap -- it just means its a PLAYABLE piece of crap.
Wadolf is now officially the cheapest boss in video game history. I went into that battle with a full HP tank, and all it took was three of his "firin' mah lazor" attacks in a row to completely drain it. But that was deliberate, right? Because Wadolf is someone you hate in real life, therefore you wanted us to hate him just as much as you do. SCREW YOU TOM FULP!!! I'm off to play "The Beard" again you miserable sack.
This is the first game you've produced that genuinely pissed me off, and the simple reason why is because the expectations of the player are RIDICULOUSLY high. I hooked my girl up with a guy that turned out to have a 19+ happiness bonus before she turned 20, who I kept with her all the way up to 50, along with getting every chocolate, rose, diamond and promotion along the way. In spite of this, I STILL scored BELOW 1000. Reaching that final achievement, in other words, is based more on luck than on skill (my Q key is a lot less responsive after playing this game). That's why this is a truly miserable gaming experience.
You might want to add somewhere that, if you see your perfect lover while you are already taken, you can't dump your present lover and hook up with anyone else until your perfect lover is already off the screen. It's already happened to me five times trying to get that bloody five-star achievement.
You don't actually need to reach the final level to beat this (and if you do try for the final level, you won't get the hard badge), but the easy way is to get the four starting tombstones together in the same place (plus your own if you lose a life in the process), then the next time Tom goes up to drop bread or fire lasers at you, go to the opposite side so you can combo him and the tombstones all at once. The final level is amusing enough that it's worth getting just to see it, but again, if you want the hard badge, forget about leveling up and just hammer away at Tom as non-stop as you can.
Wow. I mean. . . Wow. Not only did you include yourself as the main player character, you also made all the enemies people you don't like online? Man, every time I think you can't possibly suck anymore as a person, you prove me wrong. What exactly is the point of this game? To depict all of your internet foes as the most annoying video game enemies on the planet in some kind of attempt to trick people into hating them as much as you do? Well, if that was the case: Tough luck. All this game made me want to do is play "The Beard" again so I could kick your ass again instead. If you're going to be this miserable of a human being, do us all a favor and get the hell off of the internet completely.
Any game where the developers expect the players to play the game AS AVATARS OF THEMSELVES is always going to be utter crap. This game was no exception. Stop pretending you two nitwits know jack crap about games.
Don't click "solution" when it offers it to you. The page it links to auto-links to the same game at King.com. What a load of crap -- you get a 1/5 just for being a dishonest false-advertising douche.
This game would have been cool if not for one problem: Many of the puzzles require you to multitask. This turns what should be an otherwise novel and interesting puzzle game into a frustrating scattered mess. If you ever make a sequel, consider allowing gamers to chain commands together instead of clicking around hoping they've timed and memorized everything right.
I can't believe I originally gave this P.O.S. 2/5 stars. It's abominable -- it plays like it was DESIGNED for hackers and allowancers to torment others. The maps are horrible and offer ridiculous slants to one side over another, the controls are crap and have a tendency to be unresponsive, it would take FOREVER to level up and/or purchase new weapons even if the hackers / allowancers were NOT an issue, and when you DO finally level up, the upgrades do next to nothing. The only saving grace of this game (and the reason I originally gave it 2/5) is that it should be just as miserable an experience for your opponents too, but because you were such a money-grubbing bastard, even THAT can not be said positively about your game. This is crap in every sense of the word.
This game might have made for a decent ten-minute distraction, but the amount of levels and the progressively intricate puzzle mechanics (which are all bloody math-related no less) just make it a really slow, really boring and seemingly pointless game to play. Definitely not something that should ever be attempted in one sitting. 2/5.
If you were attempting to recreate the feeling of Team Fortress 2 with this game, you failed so epically it hurts. The absolute worst thing about this game is its tutorial, namely how it bloody spoonfeeds you the most basic, most obvious crap, but can't even give you the most basic of the basics when it comes to the actual rules of the game. Capture the flag is a bloody nightmare, for example, because it gives you no indicator what-so-f***ing-ever where you're supposed to take it. And the spawn points? Atrocious. Half the time I died, it was because somebody spawned in RIGHT ON TOP OF ME. Add onto the fact that you get ONE POINT PER KILL, and therefore can't really do much of anything until you've accumulated a few hundred, and I'm surprised you were even allowed to publish this miserable filth. You ought to be damn ashamed of yourself for slapping your name on this P.O.S. and calling it a finished product, and Kongregate should be ashamed of themselves for allowing it.
It only took me about twenty minutes to play through it, but you know what? I loved every minute of it. I hereby nominate this the game most deserving of a sequel. 5/5.
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