Few games can bridge the gap between being really bloody frustrating and really bloody boring with absolutely NOTHING in between, but you've managed that tenfold. Congratulations ya' dick! 1/5.
I clung to the hope that maybe-maybe-MAYBE this wouldn't be just another piss-poor half-hearted excuse for an RPG, even after it became painfully evident that there was barely any combat system at all. Then you gave into the same temptation that all half-rate RPG makers do: You busted out the "instant kill" attacks. So screw you: Yet another 1/5 onto the pile.
This game has a SEVERE tendency to decide that it just isn't going to do crap anymore. The last time it hit me was TEN SECONDS INTO IT. Seriously, what the hell?!!
Controls suck. First time I lost, there was nothing else on the platform, but it absolutely REFUSED to respond to my right directional. CPU sucks. Second time I lost, it was because the game spawned FOUR WEIGHTS on the side of the platform I was already balancing on. This game sucks. End of story.
Did you even bother to play this game for yourself?! When I said the music only matches up with the notes 50% of the time, I think that was too GENEROUS of me. This game honestly makes me want to go to the mall and punch a mall Santa in the throat -- IT IS THAT BAD!!!
Stupid stupid STUPID sack of shyte game. The music doesn't sync up with the buttons more than half the time, which makes it a royal pain in the ass because the controls are RIDICULOUSLY anal when it comes to timing. Ripping off the Guitar Hero format should also be a severe point of ridicule. I'm honestly not convinced any beta testing was done on this game it's so bloody poor. You should be ashamed of yourself for slapping it together and daring to call it a game, and Kongregate should be ashamed of themselves for giving this game badges to encourage gamers to think crap like this counts as a finished product. Yet one more reason to hate the Christmas season.
Done in 23 days. Here's how:
1) I built paths to everything EXCEPT for traps. Monsters are good for experience, potions heal and treasure allows for improvements. Traps are only good for saving money you would have otherwise just had to spend on a path.
2) Try to give your best heroes items that give them +2 steps for empty spaces. When they reach the dragon, they'll weave in and out taking potshots at it and be able to heal when they leave.
3) Include long walks and dead end paths at the final level. Your hero will keep going down those paths over and over again, which will maximize their recovery with the +2 item.
4) If a hero gets killed, give their replacement a gold increaser. They won't be able to do jack against the dragon on account of level grinding, but they can increase your revenue for the next day.
It would be nice if you had given the adventurers just a LITTLE BIT of A.I. They have a tendency to disregard the obvious exits and keep going down the same dead ends OVER AND OVER AND OVER. It makes this the first Nerdook game that I officially despise. 2/5.
You know, there are a lot of absolutely crap games on Kongregate, but this is the first one whose developers I'm going to have homicidal fantasies about for months on end. What moron thought that flame devil was a fair inclusion at Lv. 12? And what douche bag thought that was worthy of a MEDIUM accomplishment badge? This game truly is the worst on Kongregate I have ever played. And that's saying a lot. Kongregate clearly doesn't want the Mirratans (or whatever the hell they're called) to win, otherwise they wouldn't have stuck them with that gawd-awful badge as a requirement.
I'm going to nominate this game the most deserving of a sequel, if only because it is a good idea from a game with a lot of flaws in the execution that prevent it from being thoroughly enjoyable. The most frustrating thing for me was not being able to simply fire your #2 henchman, and of only being able to "fire" patsies during mission briefings. Even if you could only limit yourself to three patsies (that 4th chair in the board room kept taunting me in every cutscene) and one henchman at a time, it would still be nice if you could "equip" them to the board room instead of having to execute one every time a better one came around. Speaking of the patsies and henchman, the endgame scenario comes long before you unlock all of them, and the endgame itself is, all things considered, anticlimactic. If there's a sequel, multiple endings would be nice. Maybe multiple villain M.O.'s too with their own little bonuses and penalties to give the game some replay value too.
No offense, but I think your "chances of success" ratings might be a LITTLE exaggerated. Seeing as my guys keep getting killed on missions that are SUPPOSED to be 92% likely to be successful. This is evidently YET ANOTHER Kongregate title that started off with a cool idea that wound up sucking because somebody rushed it. Way to go Kongregate. Hope those quality assurance guys you have get a nice bonus! .
Wow. And I thought the sequels to this game were total crap. You mean to tell me the massive difficulty curve where the CPU suddenly starts spamming hundreds of advanced units at you was also present in the previous titles, but that you previously had to upgrade your units EVERY TIME ON THE FIELD?!! No wonder I got swarmed by a million pissy fanboys for badmouthing Epic War 3 -- that game is a masterpiece compared to this festering turd! Kongregate should be damn ashamed of themselves for sticking a badge of this game in an event quest. Hell, they should even be ashamed to have this game on their website AT ALL. IT IS THAT BAD.
Level 12 made me want to set a Christmas tree on fire. You can barely even see some of the color patterns you used in that one. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking making a game with only four colors with red, yellow and ORANGE being three of them?
I think it's telling that even the Kongregate team itself quit on this game after five quests. This started off with a good idea, but because of repetitive mind-numbing gameplay and some serious design flaws, it is lacking extremely. It really isn't a good sign when Kongregate itself allows even the badge hunters to quit a game before they even reach the second stage.
My only complaint with this game would be that the game play can be really, REALLY repetitive. Still, that's not something that can really be helped -- it's a trait of all slider games. Beyond that, no complaints. 4/5.
That skiing level made me want to jam a ski pole up the programmer's ass and keep forcing it in until it knocked out his teeth. This game is a perfect illustration of why mouse-based controls are NEVER a good idea -- because they're ridiculously unreliable. I can't count how many times I died in this game because the ball could sense the tiniest little chink in what was otherwise a completely straight line and began rolling the other way. Note to all developers: We bloody HATE games like this. STOP MAKING THEM!!!
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