There is truly no greater feeling than waking up in the morning and finding out that some dickweed spam-seized one of your cities and now you're paying tribute. This game rewards douchebaggery to such an extreme level that I'd almost venture a guess it was the intent of the developers to do so. Don't bother updating this game -- just stick it on a blank CD and shove it up your ass.
This game suffers the same problems as all other online interactive games: It allows players to be assholes. Caesary is different, however, in how EASY it makes it for veteran gamers to abuse the rookies. The newcomer's protection status refuses to sustain to a certain level, so players are ALWAYS going to be left severely vulnerable before they can adequately defend themselves. Veteran a-hole gamers are also capable of harassing players by disrupting marauds, spamming seize missions and "scouting" cities to slaughter all of the player's speculatores over and over again. Many games have formats that ignore the potential for gamers to be jerks and abuse their veteran status, but this is one of the few games I have seen with a format that actually ENCOURAGES it. Take my advice and don't ever play any online games for yourselves lest you find out firsthand how it feels to be made a bitch and ignored.
Un-bloody-believable. Could you possibly have made the controls for this game any MORE loose, lax and unresponsive. I've played a lot of games with bad controls, but this one is rucking fidiculous. It literally only takes a single TAP of the right button to send the player avatar all the way from one end of the screen to another. This game's graphics are 8-bit, so how in the frig did you manage to program a game with scripts that prioritize graphics so heavily over gameplay to the point of screwing it up completely? You have to TRY to produce something that bad. 1/5.
Much to my extreme LACK OF surprise, this game sucks just as hard and for the exact same reasons as Robot Wants Ice Cream. Just like RWIC, this game lagged tremendously due to your glut of baddies being animated all at once and made this game completely unplayable within a minute of playing. The only positive comment I can give is that the lag is at least not as bad as RWIC -- that game was lagging even at the fecking title screen! Apparently the original game in this series was only good by a fluke -- if Robot Wants Kitty had been even a smidgen as awful as this game or its evil twin, i would have never given it a try.
You ever heard the phrases "Don't mess with a good thing" or "If it aint' broke, don't fix it?" Evidently not, because this game is FUBAR to the point of being unplayable. RWK was a great game, but you took a lot of what made it good out for RWP, and now have taken EVERYTHING out for this festering turd of a final game. You made one of the most juvenile mistakes that can possibly made in gaming: You flooded the game environment with enemies that eat up the bandwidth with their animation and drag the game down to RIDICULOUSLY slow levels. There are quite a few games on Kongregate that have this problem, but this game suffers it to a murderous extreme. The game is LITERALLY unplayable for this reason. Just getting the very first power-up took me three minutes; I seriously doubt that was the playtime intended. I'm going to do to this crappy threequel the same thing I did to Final Fantasy XII -- throw it in the trash and try to forget it ever existed.
That whole "move with the directionals, aim and shoot with the mouse" thing is brutal on the hands, especially for players (like me) who have laptops with touch pads, so I can't give this thing a 5/5 just because I hate that controller scheme and think it needs to go away altogether. That said, this was one of the better, more exciting and more playable versions of such a game (though my hands are still killing me). It reached a point of insanity where the enemies literally filled the screen, but that wasn't until after I got the platinum award for leveling up, so I consider it a small problem -- not anything to make the game unplayable. 4/5.
Hooray, yet another game with scripting that prioritizes cosmetic values over gameplay. Yeah, this game LOOKS nice, but it plays worse then fecking E.T. on the Atari. It would have been an easy AND enjoyable playthrough if it wasn't for the fact that the controls are utter crap and only responded to me about 1/10 times. This game is proof beyond anything that Kongregate needs a quality assurance team.
This game was great. . . Until I hit the game-breaker. The ultimate act of idiocy on your part was to make A) the princess cages need to be opened the same way as the heroes, and B) the dungeons assembled randomly. What this can create is the ultimate F.U. moment where you reach the bottom but cannot get over another piece to properly open the princess cage and are effectively stuck with no purpose except to reset it. It's a shame, because while this otherwise seemed like a really enjoyable game, game-breakers like that warrant an automatic 1/5 in my book.
Kay, so. . . Out of curiosity, I checked my badges in order of "least acquired," and I was pretty surprised to see the badge for this game right at the top of the list. It might be because it's new, but personally, I think it's because of the Morse code puzzle. That's something even the nerdiest of the history nerds might be hard-pressed to figure out. I'm not changing my rating (4/5), though I am STRONGLY advising against any such puzzles for the future.
Any chance somebody could post a walkthrough for the coin locations? I had a blast playing the gauntlet, but these last two coins in the story mode are a being a total pain in my arse to find. :p
Sumbitch didn't even think to include a resolution setting on this miserable excuse for a game. Do you have any idea how much lag this game creates in the latter levels when those damn electric shooters start spamming the screen?! I don't think you do! This game is horrible! You couldn't have made it any worse if you tried! I just literally spent ten minutes unable to even make it up the wall in Lv. 14 because the controls were such shyte! Feck you, feck this game, and feck Kongregate for putting a weekly challenge on this P.O.S. and making us all play it!
Check it out. Even the prick that MADE this game doesn't have the hard badge. This truly is crap. I have seen a lot of games that were downright horrible because of completely juvenile oversights, but this is in a league of stupidity all of its own. Kongregate: Do yourself a favor and elevate your standards by putting the axe to this piece of crap.
Campaign Level 14. That by itself would have been a serious challenge. So why in the name of God did you throw in the stupid mirror gameplay on top of that?!! There are games that are challenging, and then there are games that seem to serve no purpose except to piss off the people playing it. This game is one of the latter. Throw in ill-conceived controls and obstacles that become impossible if you upgrade the wrong thing at the wrong time and you have an absolute waste -- a true festering turd -- of a video game. If I could give this a 0/5, I would.
Pieces also have a tendency to count as placed if they so much as nick one of the swaying blocks on their way down. Which is a total pain in the ass because the physics are so sensitive that sometimes you can't even tell if a block is swaying or not. Did Gitmo pay you to make this game?
This game would be cool if you hadn't made the physics so God damn sensitive. It's really disheartening when your tower starts to lean, sag and ultimately fall over even though there were absolutely no inconsistencies to indicate that it should. It honestly gives me the impression that this game was never beta tested.
I could only give this a 4/5 because of the Morse code puzzle. It was wrong to assume that the average gamer would be familiar with Morse, and also wrong to assume they would be able to read print that small on the screen. Other than that, this game was very enjoyable.
There are a couple of games on Kongregate that I've laid serious fault to (and a 1/5 score) for piss-poor, laggy, unresponsive controls that made the game virtually unplayable. Recently I've even come under fire from a bunch of fanboys (who I suspect are actually the developer of one such game posting under different accounts) have taken serious issue with this and accused me of passing the blame for my outdated computer onto the developers. I mention that because this game, WHICH HAD A WARNING ABOUT HIGH SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS, ran on my computer with absolutely no problems at all. That's why I don't let anyone else make excuses -- if this game can play without lagging on my computer, everything else should be able to as well.
You know what this game needs more than anything in the world right now? Resolution setting. Because in its default setting, this game skips like crazy, which makes the fact that it's a fecking Nazi about the timing an even bigger headache than should be allowed by law. 1/5 until you get off your fecking ass and fix it.
Good lord, why do people keep making these stupid "move with the directional, aim and shoot with the mouse" games. They don't freakin' work! Inevitably they always glitch and screw up when you're running and firing at the same time and the computer thinks you're trying to highlight the damn thing instead. I repeat: Stop using the mouse in these games!
Contrary to popular belief, the badge for this game CAN be won with a touch pad (I just did). I damn near fractured my right index finger doing it, but I did it. Suffice to say that this game is a lot more challenging than the concept would lead one to believe, which I can appreciate. The only reason I can't in good faith give it a 5/5 is because it does rely too heavily upon hardware that the gamer may or may not have (if I still had my previous laptop with the wand, this game really would have been impossible). 4/5 for that reason.
 "Caesary"){kind=icon}
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![Play [Visible] III](https://cdn4.kongcdn.com/game_icons/0018/1532/Thumbnail.png?i10c=img.resize(width:250) "[Visible] III"){kind=icon}
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