I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but it's true: I've seen better medical simulation games on Kongregate before. I don't know what the purpose of this game was, but whatever it was, it fell short of it. The "puzzles" were easy, the "gameplay" was boring, and the lectures were pointless add-ons that most gamers are going to skip through without giving half a thought about. If this game was trying to entertain, it failed miserably. If this game was trying to educate, it failed miserably. And if this game was trying to inspire other people to become doctors, it failed epically.
I think the expectations of this game are way too high, especially for a game that is repetitive and boring in its goal. The health AND hunger bars degenerate way too quickly for this game to feel like anything other than a retarded race against the clock. Open-ended games like this should have a little leeway for players to play as they wish, but the unforgiving requirements make this game impossible to play for more than ten seconds any other way.
There isn't exactly a shortage of these "bounce up to the maximum height" games, but at least this one was more original and better arranged than some of the previous titles. Ending was a little awkward, but since the soundtrack gave me the sense that this was going to have some kind of tearjerker ending, I can live with the one I got instead. Good show.
Surface to ground missiles. Are. You. Fecking. Kidding me. EvilDog, you have a real talent for proving that a game can always be more crap than it had previously been. If you had a beta tester for this game, nail a fecking board to his head for us all, okay?
You expected us to fight the helicopter TWICE on Brighton Street?!! Screw you!!! The helicopter gameplay is fecking broken -- you can barely dodge him by leaning left and right, the prick is relentless so you have to fight him, but he's also lazy with his movement so you can't just quickly swing him into a sign -- you have to drive on the side constantly and let yourself be a sitting duck for him while you wait for him to crash into it (and also plow through anything else that got stacked up on the side of the road between you and the sign, which is often quite a lot). No matter how good at this game you are, you WILL have a broken windshield and health flashing red by the time you put the prick down. And you wanted us to do it TWICE?! EvilDog: YOU! ARE!! A!!! PRI-I-I-I-I-I-ICK!!!!!!!
There are so many gawd-awful fundamental flaws with this game that I'm honestly not even convinced you even played this game for yourself. This game is a crapload of cosmetic features decorating an utter crap game. If you just fecking hate everyone, you didn't need to make a game like this to make this known.
Do me a favor and never make any more of these fecking elephant games ever again, okay? They're nauseating to look at, loaded with artificial difficulty, and seem to have no aim except to fill a deadline and piss off anyone that plays them. If I could give this game a score of 0/5, I would.
This game was clearly not meant to be played with a touchpad. The PC's movement is schizophrenic and unpredictable at best, and the game's pace is such that you need to either A) be really lucky, or B) seen the game played in full already, to be able to account for it. The game's pace does not match the reaction time of the average gamer (I thought games like Sonic the Hedgehog had taught us all why this is a bad idea). That is the true fault of this game; it becomes difficult as soon as Lv. 2, but for ALL THE WRONG REASONS. Loose unpredictable movement inside of a too small window are not hallmarks of a game that is challenging -- they are signs of a game that is broken.
This is the hardest game I have ever played, but FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS. You made the character movement so bloody loose that even so much as a tap is enough to make the PC jump from the far left of the screen and kamikaze into a buzz saw on the right. Characters that move that fast require open environments (a la Sonic the Hedgehog), not platform jumpers in enclosed spaces. This game makes me want to hunt down the two people who made it and pummel them until they look like Meat Boy's mom and dad. It is THAT TERRIBLE.
Could you possibly have made the composition program any less user friendly? I spent ten minutes just trying to figure out how to get one guitarist to play a scale, never mind play an original melody. The color-coding of the notes was a horrible idea -- it would take the average gamer less time to learn how to write music in real life than learn how to manage that crap.
I've seen a lot of games that have both retarded AIs that can't be managed at all due to the provision of only the most basic of controls, but this game has by far the worst that I have ever seen. Short-range fighters are all too eager to run straight to the far right hand side of the screen while long-ranged fighters hug the wall against the left so that the enemy always stays just out of their reach. Every mission I have ever lost in this game was because of this crap AI, which is, unfortunately, THE CORE OF THE GAME. Screw you, and screw Kongregate for making a weekly challenge out of this piss-poor excuse for a game. 1/5.
I've noticed that a lot of players honk their horns as soon as the race begins. I believe I know why: To test the full extent of the lag in game. I finally tried it myself, and do you know how much time passed between when I pressed the H key and when I finally heard my horn honk? SIX SECONDS!!! That's BEYOND crap. It's bloody inconceivable that a game which ADVERTISES that it has no lag could lag so much. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
If you absolutely must make another game in this series, call it "Kitty Wants Revenge." That'll kill two birds with one stone: The kitty can get revenge on the robot for A) disregarding him to get a puppy, B) Throwing the cat around and using him as a helicopter in pursuit of said puppy, C) banishing him to space for fighting with said puppy, and D) trying to kill him over freakin' ice cream.
And the gamer, too, can get revenge, for getting dragged through three additional miserable P.O.S. games that were a bloody insult to the original Robot Wants Kitty game. Seriously, after putting up with all of this crap, I wish I could decapitate Robot and use his head as a bloody paperweight.
Just to give you an idea of how utterly crap the controls are, I played a practice race; the winner had a time of 63.72, and everybody else got DNF. And this was on a track that was OVAL SHAPED. YOU COULDN'T SUCK MORE IF YOU TRIED!!!
You ought to be ashamed of yourself for advertising "no lag" on this game. This game has lag up the yin-yang. I've seen a lot of games with unresponsive schizophrenic controls, but this one is just rucking fidiculous. The only satisfying part was seeing all my ghost opponents spinning out or banking sudden hard rights into a wall just like I was so I knew it wasn't just me. Considering how simple in concept this game is, there's no excuse for scripting it in such a way that game control suffers because of it. 1/5 for being difficult FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
Having all the opponents be ghosts was a good call for another reason: Douche bags. There's no feeling quite like watching one of the ghosts turn his car a 180 and drive in the opposite direction, then realizing he'd have become the object of a week's worth of homicidal fantasies if his antics had been in any other game.
The funniest thing for me was seeing "lead tester" in the credits. No offense, but I think he spent the whole time smoking weed and watching Sponge Bob and only said "Yeah, it's good" five minutes to the deadline.
You know, there's a damn good reason player-created content has never caught on with the mainstream. It's because half the people who produce custom levels are sadistic bastards who want to create levels that are virtually impossible to defeat, and the other half only want to create levels that look like penises. This game looks like it's included both. Not since Hey You Pikachu has such a great disservice been done to an otherwise great series.
 "Medical School"){kind=icon}
 "Moby Dick - The Video Game"){kind=icon}
 "Reachin' Pichin"){kind=icon}
 "Mr. Bounce"){kind=icon}
 "Road of the Dead"){kind=icon}
 "ELEPHANT RAVE"){kind=icon}
 "Ancient Origins{flying fish}"){kind=icon}
 "Meat Boy"){kind=icon}
 "Punk-o-matic 2"){kind=icon}
 "Monster Slayers"){kind=icon}
 "Async Racing"){kind=icon}
 "Robot Wants Ice Cream"){kind=icon}
 "Zombies Took My Daughter!"){kind=icon}
 "Wake Up the Box 2"){kind=icon}
 "Crush the Castle Players Pack"){kind=icon}