This is the first game that I ever shouted "Oh just get to the part where he kills me already!" while playing. It's almost like this game was DESIGNED to infuriate everyone that plays it, like the ones they make people play right before they test their reactions to stress. Am I being tested right now? Eh, whatever. 1/5 jackass.
I was prepared to consider this game forgettable, but then it did something no other game on Kongregate has ever done to me. It refused to let me move my mouse cursor and navigate away from the game at the Game Over screen. This is the first game on Kongregate that has ever made sure to rub it in my face that I lost. So to that I say "F.U. too Tenebrous. 1/5."
There are a few cheap moments, such as getting run over by a boss when it's already been killed. But beyond that, this was a fairly enjoyable game. Not a masterpiece by any sense of the word, but certainly worth the amount of time I ended up spending on it.
This is the first game I've ever played on Kongregate where the camera was my worst enemy. You have a novel concept, but it's like you devoted so much time to refining that part of the game that, by the time it was all over, you were fed up and completely half-assed the rest of it. The camera is awful, the controls are awful, and the complete lack of even something as basic as a save feature means this can only be done in one agonizing playthrough. The worst part was finishing it and realizing this was only a preview. Do I want to know about updates like PRE-ORDERS? No. Absolutely not. This game was a miserable experience. Be damned if I'm going to pay money for that.
You know, most minesweeper games don't kill you if a mine goes off NEAR YOU BECAUSE SOMETHING ELSE SET IT OFF. This thing is an insult to puzzle games everywhere.
You know, minesweeper isn't exactly brain surgery. I actually figured it'd be pretty hard to screw up a game like that and make it terrible to play. Well, somehow, you pulled it off. Bravo.
The Light Temple is one of my favorite games on Kongregate. This, however, is garbage. The puzzles aren't challenging; the hard part is getting them to actually work. This is an insult, both to the previous title, and to puzzle games as a whole.
Oh. Yay. Another RTS game where veteran players can put the absolute screws to unprepared offline newbies AND ARE ENCOURAGED TO DO SO. Screw you through your ear zggame!
How is it that these real-time strategy games somehow manage to always be worse than all the crap RTS games that came out on Kongregate before it? The only saving grace of this festering turd is that the badges can be acquired in less than an hour (though it did make me reset in order to acquire them). Blam this piece of crap! 1/5.
I would swear the people who make these crap games deliberately make the badges not register because they know we'll stop playing as soon as we acquire them all.
It's basically Picma Squared, only with a theme, a lot of fancy graphics, and an overall sense of laziness. And the credits saying "Awesome game, huh?" then hearing the "Ha-ha!" sound effect pretty much described this game to a T. This is utter crap. I was going to give you a 2/5 just because this game is actually playable (which cannot be said about most of the games whose developers bawl their eyes out at me after i rate them), but that thing about the credits honestly makes me suspect that you wanted this game to be crap. Well, wish granted: 1/5 it is.
Go figure that when I go into controls setting, the one thing I absolutely do want to change (firing with the mouse button) can't be changed. What the hell is wrong with you Armor Games -- why do you seem to completely DELIGHT in depriving games of the functions that they absolutely call for. There is no justification whatsoever for this not having an auto-fire function, and Kongregate must have been stoned out of their minds when they ignored that and gave this a "best of the year" badge.
I don't believe it. You actually made a flash game that is nothing but a cheap WWTBAM ripoff quiz show about OTHER flash games? How do I even begin to describe how ridiculously egotistical and lame this game is?
To unlock hipsters, you need TWELVE ZERO STAR RATINGS. So demolish all of the rooms as soon as you finish the "add an ironing board" part of the tutorial and get that crap over with while it will only cost you a couple of dollars a day. Bump for great justice.
You know, there was another hotel theme game released to Kongregate only a couple of months ago, and it was absolutely plagued with juvenile oversights and shortcomings. So how, how, HOW Armor Games did you manage to make one that was even worse? By making it into a bloody RPG, that's how. This game is pure tutorial with zero customization -- you are literally dragged through the whole damn process. That barely makes it a game at all. Throw in a limited number of employees who are governed by some of the worst A.I. I have ever seen in a sim game and you have an absolute catastrophe of a game. Seriously Armor Games, what the hell?!
Umm. . . Did that customer say "This makes me want to be a furry?" Dude, what the crap? Furry-bashing is so lame even SomethingAwful won't do it anymore. You fail at internet humor.
 "Fixation"){kind=icon}
 "Accelerator"){kind=icon}
 "Boss Battle"){kind=icon}
 "Sarah's Run (preview)"){kind=icon}
 "Zombie Minesweeper"){kind=icon}
 "You Are The Road - Molyjam 2012"){kind=icon}
 "The Ice Temple"){kind=icon}
 "Shadowland Online"){kind=icon}
 "NoNoSparks: Genesis"){kind=icon}
 "Bubble Tanks 2"){kind=icon}
 "Do You Know Flash Games?"){kind=icon}
 "Innkeeper"){kind=icon}
Sorry about that :) Just out of interest did you try hitting ESC to unlock the mouse?